Subscribe in a Reader
A Promise is A Promise
To celebrate the fact that I KICKED some grey-haired, balding, over-worked, underpaid civil servant battle axe’s ass, I’m going out tonight, with my girlfriends. The kids are being shuffled to the mother-in-laws and I’m putting on my dancing shoes.
It’s a full fledged girl night tonight, and this girl is going to re-examine her love of Jose Cuervo and his fine product.
This was in fact, my husband’s suggestion. And who am I to not listen to my husband, right? After all, I am nothing, if not a docile, loving, respectful wife who waits on her husband hand and foot and dotes on his every word. It would be wrong of me not to heed his suggestion.
BWHAHAHAHA!
The hubs phoned this morning to see what my day included and how I slept. (He’s thoughtful that way.)
I told him I slept fine, which is the truth. I had naughty dreams of the new James Bond doing naughty things to naughty me. I slept fine. Ahem. Turns out, the husband had a naughty dream of his own. Featuring, of course, his hot Asian chick.
(I really have to meet this broad. Maybe she would induce me to have naughty dreams about her and then the hubs and I can bond over her….Not with her. ABOUT her. Sheesh.)
I casually mention that I’m going out with the chicks tonight as per his suggestion. “Where are you ladies going,” he asked.
“I thought we’d head to that bar downtown and then head over to then nightclub with the great dance floor on 82nd.”
A moment of silence, and then he asked what I would be wearing. “I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought yet. Jeans and a pretty top, I guess.”
(Of course I have given this thought. I know exactly what I’m going to be wearing. Duh.)
“You’re gonna have the girls out tonight aren’t you?”
“What do you mean? The girls? Of course, they are coming out. I’m not going out dancing alone. I’m not that big of a loser.”
“No, not those girls. The girls on your chest.” OOOOHHHHHH. Those girls.
“Well, they kind of go where ever I go, Boo. That is sort of part of the deal of being a chick.”
“Very funny. I just wanted to know if you intended on bringing out the big guns tonight.”
Yes, because my saggy A-cups are considered big guns by every man alive. Do you see why I married my sweet, delusional, handsome man?
“Don’t worry, big guy. The girls will stay strapped in, and hidden under a tee shirt. I’m not going out to pick up men, just to blow off some steam.”
“Don’t worry babe. I’m not going to wear anything that is remotely slutty.”
“Well that sucks for my imagination, but I can’t say I’m not relieved to hear it.”
Are panties considered slutty? After all, I do have a promise to keep. And I don’t want to break my word to my darling hubs.
Wink, wink.
April 13th, 2007 at 7:41 am
Holy crap, I’m FIRST!
Have fun tonight. Live it up and think of me.
April 13th, 2007 at 7:56 am
Hah! You rock, RM. Enjoy tonight, and don’t worry about li’l ole me stuck at home with a sick kid and no hubby (he’s been away since Wednesday, which I KNOW is nothing like yours and Boo’s situation, but STILL).
No, don’t give me a thought.
April 13th, 2007 at 8:15 am
Yummy… the new James Bond has been visiting my dreams as well… he’s good like that James. *swoon*
Have fun rippin’ shit up tonight. Shweeeeeee…
April 13th, 2007 at 8:35 am
OMG you are hilarious! Hope tonight is crazy fun. With or without panties.
April 13th, 2007 at 9:27 am
You’ve got to love a guy who still expresses jealous after all those years and all those kids. Rock it with your bad A-cup self, girl!
April 13th, 2007 at 9:27 am
and uh…that would be “jealousy”
I kin speak good. I sware.
April 13th, 2007 at 9:36 am
Hopefully your MIL has them overnight. Nothing is a bigger buzzkill than the kids waking you up at 6 am.
And Boo, dont be upset with her take the girls out. Let her dance the night away with them loud n proud. I know after Mrs. Joe has a night out with her girls and gets stares from a bunch of either too old men or too young boys she comes home to me in a VERY happy mood!
April 13th, 2007 at 9:44 am
You go on with your bad self and get your groove on. Work those A cups like they haven’t been worked in a long time.
But leave a little something to the imagination because Boo’s jealousy is really sweet.
April 13th, 2007 at 10:03 am
So I’m not the only one thinking the new James Bond can wander into my dreams any time. (Please, Daniel Craig, please, the door is open my friend.)
Hope you had a rocking time, whether the girls were contained or free!
April 13th, 2007 at 10:18 am
Hope you have a great time. You deserve a break.
I think you might wanna wear panties though-y’know…best to keep ALL that tucked away and behind some sort of barrier. God I hope their cotton lined. Fish.
April 13th, 2007 at 10:28 am
Have fun!
April 13th, 2007 at 10:36 am
I knew you’d kick old lady ass yesterday! Have fun tonight, it’s a well earned outing, with or without the girls (funny how those boys think A’s can just comea poppin out of things isn’t it?)
And have one for me will ya? Jose and I haven’t had any time together for a while now… tell him I said hi
And KimmyK, those comments yesterday, if they had an award for the best comment (which they might, I don’t know) I would SO nominate those!
April 13th, 2007 at 11:25 am
Nothing frees the spirit like flashing your tits in public. What happens on 82nd stays on 82nd.
Hey, is that the 82nd that I remember? Isn’t it just filled with acne-cream kids from the suburbs who get bussed in to bust balls and flash fake id? If so, then you should definitely flash your tits.
April 13th, 2007 at 11:34 am
Have fun. And I’m glad to hear you kicked some battle aze butt.
April 13th, 2007 at 11:34 am
Uhhh… did i miss HOW you you kicked the battle axe’s ass? What happened. … on edge of seat.
But have a good time tonight say hello to Jose for me, will ya? He’s the only one of my drinking pals I miss.
April 13th, 2007 at 11:35 am
I’m just loving your blog. You always make me laugh!
Have a good time with the A cups!
April 13th, 2007 at 11:40 am
Haha! What a perfect cartoon for this post. Where do you come up with this stuff?
April 13th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Woo hoo! Bust it loose tonight!
Have a great time, and have one for me, please.
April 13th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
You are the master of dirty semantics. Does Boo truly know what a cunning linguist you can be?
April 13th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Hahaha! J and I have the same conversation before I go out with friends. If he’s not going out with me, he’s suddenly concerned about my outfit. But if he IS with me, MY how his opinion changes.
Have a great time, and do a shot for me!
April 13th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Here’s to old lady slaying!
Have a great time tonight.
April 13th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Have a good time, T!
April 13th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Wait…. are you hanging out with Rugby chicks tonight?
Because, if you are, it is bound to get wild.
Gunfighter knows Rugby chicks.
April 13th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
woohoo! Rock out Redneck! Take the girls out dancing and let the freak flag fly!
(but when do you get an answer from the battle axe?)
April 13th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
remember:
liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.
beer before liquor, never sicker.
that’s all the advice i have for you, other than- HAVE FUN!!
April 13th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Have fun!!!!
April 13th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Tie one on for me girlfriend!!
April 13th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Way to go, ass kicker!
Now go prove to the world you’ll be a great adoptive mother by getting drunk and showing em your titties!
April 13th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
I’m sorry the whole adoption process is so difficult. So many kids need good homes…and they sure don’t make it easy to get them there! But it sounds like you deserve to blow off some steam. Enjoy the evening.
April 13th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Panties? Never heard of ‘em. And Cuervo is nasty…hit some Herradura.
April 13th, 2007 at 11:04 pm
that new James Bond…he is totally wrapped around my finger, I’ll put in a good word fer ya, k? Girls nights out equal trouble…er. uh, I’m sure you’ll be fine
April 14th, 2007 at 11:18 am
Hope you had a great time with all the girls and Jose.
How ya’ feeling today?
April 14th, 2007 at 11:50 am
Hope you had a wonderful time last night!
April 14th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
From one redneck mom to another…that was friggin’ hilarious…
April 14th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
I have to say that the reason I didn’t get hit on at my girls night out last night is because I looked so incredibly normal.
Stinks, but I felt safer.
April 15th, 2007 at 7:23 am
I hope this comment finds you suitably hungover (but not too much) and with some tall tales to tell of your slutty adventure (from one saggy a-cup titted woman to another–actually, my boobs are enormous milks bags right now, but the saggy a cup beckons….)
Hope you lived it up!