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Kissing the Electric Company’s Ass
41 hours. That is how long I have been without power. Midnight, Wednesday night. Or Thurday morning, I suppose. The sticks in which I reside was hit with a massive snow storm, snapping power poles, lines and trees with the snow and ice.
I suppose it could have been worse. It could be well below the freezing mark, instead it has only hovered at 0 degrees Celsius (32 F). I could have been trapped inside a house with no heat for two days with two small souls sent to torment me from Satan himself. Oh wait, I was.
Ever wonder what happens to a nine year old boy who is cooped upside and can’t get his video game fix? It’s like taking the crack away from an addict and then hoping they don’t rip you from limb to limb.
The good news is I had lots of quality time with my children. With no outside distractions (re: internet, blogging, telly, radio, PHONE…because I only have a fucking cordless which needs power to work and my damn cell phone was dead.)
I know now which kids think I’m a hot mom, which think I’m a scrag and which wish that I would adopt them. I know who wears the hip sneakers and who doesn’t. I know who kissed who and who is fighting with who. If you need an inside track into a grade four or five mind, I am your bitch.
Lessons I have learned in the last two days:
I would suck as a pioneer woman.
I am completely useless without my caffeine fix from my morning brew. (I resorted to licking the grinds people!)
I think all the people who work for the power company and are responsible for maintaining the poles and lines should be elevated to the status of Kings (and Queens) and deserve a huge hike in pay. (Especially that bearded dude with the purple sunglasses who replaced my power pole.)
I REALLY, REALLY missed my internet connection.
And my fridge.
And my coffee maker.
It’s good to be back.
***I will post pics of my new tattoo tomorrow. Now, I’m going to read some blogs, brew some coffee and eat some damn food that REQUIRES heat to make.***
April 20th, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Whhhooohooooo! I’m FIRST!
Welcome back!!
(Fuck, I finally get to be first. The one that actually gets seen and read and that’s all I got.)
Um. *waves* Hi!
(is that good enough?)
April 20th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Welcome back!
You know, your ranking for Hottest Mommy Blogger has skyrocketed since you posted your naked photo “challenge!”
April 20th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Thank god for power. We lost ours for (embarrassed laugh) thirty minutes on Wednesday, and Jack was climbing the walls. First he had to figure out that every source of amusement was unavailable. He was pretty shocked by the time I got to the end of the list of unavailable things to do.
So I said, “Hey, Jack, you could play with your TOYS. You know, those brightly colored objects gathering dust in your room?”
He preferred to lie on the floor spread-eagled.
April 20th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
So that’s where you’ve been. I was afraid that battleaxe swallowed you whole.
Enjoy the heat, and the light, and all that goes with it!
April 20th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
That sucks. Glad to see you back online. I was wondering what was going on.
April 20th, 2007 at 6:46 pm
So are you smarter than a fifth grader now?
April 20th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
hi babe. welcome back to the 21st century. sounds like the downtime was perfect.
yes, please, on the tattoo.
April 20th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
Ugh poor you guys! That sucks. Snow now what is with that? I mean here in the city we have it since like October! I’m tired of snow. Glad they finally got the power back on.
April 20th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
I am so glad you are back!
I was terrified you had gagged yourself to death in the middle of some birthday blow job gone wrong. All I could hear was my mother screeching, “If you don’t cut that weiner down the center, you’ll choke to death! Do you want to choke to death? Is that what you want?”
Thank God it was just a few days in the freezing cold.
April 20th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
OMG I would have died without caffeine. Literally. My head would have exploded from withdrawal. I think they call that pink mist?
April 20th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
I thought you were unusually quiet!
Looking forward to seeing your latest ink artwork
April 21st, 2007 at 5:43 am
I just can’t imagine being snowed in for that length of time (in the middle of April) with two kids, no power, and no heat.
Glad you’re back amongst the “living.”
April 21st, 2007 at 6:38 am
No power=no happiness.
So glad you back among the power(ful).
April 21st, 2007 at 7:43 am
Wow…that’s a long time to have mandatory “quality time” with kids. You have my sympathy!
April 21st, 2007 at 8:08 am
No power? *shudder* I don’t know if we’d survive.
April 21st, 2007 at 8:51 am
Ouchie! Glad your back, was wondering where you had gotten yourself off too. I’d have lost my mind without coffee, the rest of it I could handle (almost) but no coffee…. I’d have been dipping into the grounds and sucking like it was chew.
Now.. the tattoo please
April 21st, 2007 at 9:50 am
And here I was thinking you got a smokin’ new tattoo and then ran away with the tattoo artist.
Sorry about the power. That sucks sweaty monkey balls, hon. Not that I would know anything about that, though. See, out here in civilization we don’t usually go more than a few hours without power.
(and now that I’ve said that a plague of locusts will descend upon my town leaving us in the dark for weeks. Eh. I like to live dangerously.)
April 21st, 2007 at 10:40 am
Is there such thing as a battery operated coffee makers? There should be. And, living out in the sticks, you should invest in one. Then you can offer a cup to Hot Asian Utility Worker after he restores your power.
April 21st, 2007 at 11:19 am
Fucking Canada. If it hadn’t taken this long to get here, I would feel bad telling you that it is 22 in the t-dot.
(you know you can’t hit a pregnant woman, right?)
Enjoy that coffee!
April 21st, 2007 at 12:52 pm
We were worried about the people in your area and are glad to hear that things are getting set to rights. It really sucks when you realize how dependent you are on this technology business (and I’m not talking about the internet). It almost makes you want to install woodstoves and stock up on cast iron pans, bottled water and canned goods. Hey… I said almost… don’t get too excited
April 21st, 2007 at 4:48 pm
UGH!!!! Tortuous, absolutely tortuous. I would be dead now. Glad you made through alive.
April 21st, 2007 at 5:26 pm
wondered where you went.
sorry you’ve been without the joe.
but i am impressed that you lived to tell about it.
lol
April 21st, 2007 at 6:54 pm
I hope the food you cooked was BBQ! Nothing says summer like good BBQ!!
(hey, it was almost 80 today)
April 22nd, 2007 at 9:51 am
OMG, that sucks. I wondered where you’d been
April 23rd, 2007 at 3:16 am
Good to have you back, T!