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Man of Many Surprises
Boo and my ten year anniversary is barreling down upon us like a baby buggy let loose on a hill. You would think after this many years of marriage and countless others mooning over one another, there would be very few surprises left to discover about one another.
After all, I know the man has the worst smelling gas which he enjoys storing up and letting loose in honor of being in my presence, generally in the marital bed.
He knows that I am the world’s biggest bitch if you put mayonnaise on any food that I am preparing to eat. Especially sandwiches. I have been known to hurl a Subway sub at his head if I discover that gross white lard on my bread. Touching stuff…
I cry during the most inappropriate times, while he laughs uncomfortably like a hyena. He loves shoot ‘em up movies and chick flicks. I love spaghetti westerns and British comedies.
He’s a Ford man and I’m, well, I’m all about how cool a vehicle looks.
He likes all things vanilla, while I love the chocolate. I am a dipper while he is a scooper of dips. Somehow we make things work.
He’s been home since Saturday night and the kids and I have hung on him like burrs on a dog. Yesterday he had to finally pick us off and kiss us goodbye. He will be gone for another month and this time, he will be too far away to rescue my sorry ass if the power goes out, the water runs dry or I drive myself into another ditch.
In other words, I better start wearing low-cut tops and making nice with the boys next door.
Boo hates leaving almost as much as we hate to see him go. It’s always an emotional time, made worse with the knowledge that neither one of us are going to be completely happy until we have each other to pester, poke and ridicule once more.
Lately I have been pestering him for another pet. I’d like a cat for outside and a bird for the family room. He is adamant about no more pets. Apparently, Nixon, the World’s Greatest Dog. Ever. is all the pet my man can handle. No amount of my whining or setting the kids upon him will loosen his resolve.
Yesterday, when he was on the road to his next hotel room, he called me and told me to go outside and check my driver seat. So I trundled off, curious to see what my husband left for me, half thinking it was a melted candy bar or the remnants of a Happy meal.
Instead, to my eternal joy and delight, was a picture of the newest members of my family, to arrive in ten days.
Meet Karen and George.
Front loading LG steam washer and dryer in candy apple red.
Definitely better than a bird. (But I’m still aiming for a cat.)
April 26th, 2007 at 7:39 am
Now, I am in love. I wish I wasnt such a stick up the butt kinda girl and would have gotten candy red washer and dryer. Man, me and my scared into following rules. I would have named mine Fred and Ethel.
April 26th, 2007 at 7:53 am
Oh, I’m swooning. I like that he picked such a romantic color, too. And no kitty litter with these guys.
April 26th, 2007 at 8:25 am
and, you can always lean against the corner of the dryer and think about him while he’s gone!
April 26th, 2007 at 8:28 am
That is an AWESOME present.
Go, boo!
April 26th, 2007 at 8:32 am
Sooo jealous!!! Those are gorgeous (and I don’t use that term to describe washers and dryers often, so enjoy it)
I WANT THEM!!!!
Our boys MUST meet!
April 26th, 2007 at 9:05 am
Wow that man can shop!! And great color choices mine are just a plain old white LOL.
April 26th, 2007 at 9:05 am
WOW! I’m so jealous I can’t see straight. I mean, DAMN! Just LOOK at those things. So did you like, have to change your pants after getting a load of those babies? I would’ve keeled over from sheer ecstasy. Boo is most definitely a keeper!
April 26th, 2007 at 9:11 am
Just love this blog! I read it often but never have a chance to comment.
April 26th, 2007 at 9:20 am
OOOH, I would marry those and have little washing machine babies. So how many favors did you promise? I need to know the male breaking point.
and by the way…
After all, I know the man has the worst smelling gas which he enjoys storing up and letting loose in honor of being in my presence, generally in the marital bed.
The technical term is “Dutch Oven”
April 26th, 2007 at 9:21 am
ps. you can add a website to your profile over at blogger, this one would do nicely.
April 26th, 2007 at 9:37 am
And you gave me a hard time about buying Mrs. Joe a spatula.
Hopefully you need them soon for all the additional kiddie clothes.
April 26th, 2007 at 9:50 am
I’m so jealous. The hubz and I oogled these fine specimen when we were appliance shopping and decided that a refrigerator was definitely a necessity - so no fancy steam washer. I still got my front loader… just not a fancy candy apple red one.
April 26th, 2007 at 9:51 am
Tell me he doesn’t let one rip (silently), just after he pulls the covers over your head, making you think he’s going in for a cuddle.
My ex-husband used to do that, and it wasn’t flucking funny at all. I could taste it, damnit.
Have you seen Little Britain yet?
Yeh but, no but, yeh but, no but, yeh.
Make up your mind, woman!
p.s. I got your email…you’re welcome…aw…thanks;) xo
April 26th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Oh oh oh!! You forgot to say if he liked your new tattoo or not. (I forgot to fawn over your new washer and dryer….awesome and so pretty!)
April 26th, 2007 at 10:04 am
I just checked, and you’ve been listed under The Blogitzer Award category. And that means you can stick, yet another, nomination thingamajig on the right with the rest of your nominations. Okie dokie.
So get voting people!
http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/11095
April 26th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Thought I should share a little tip with you. Eat eggs… lots of em for dinner, or anything else that will give you sewer ass. Then when you climb into said marital bed, wait until lights are out and start rippin em. Then jump up, flip the lights on. Boo will pull covers over his own head… self inflicted dutch oven. Did it to my husband and now he won’t even fart in the same room. Good luck!
April 26th, 2007 at 11:35 am
WOW!!!! Love the new pets (?)….what purty colors too! Much better than birds. Congrats!!
April 26th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
My hubby too. Only he doesn’t wait for the marital bed he just waits until he comes into whatever room I’m in to to let ‘em rip. My personal favorite is when he walks down the stairs before me and lets one rip so I have to walk right through the aroma.
Beautiful new toys by the way. I’m totally diggin the color
April 26th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Dude… I’m green, so very very green *sigh* Way better then a bird, trust me, I got 5 of them. Ok, not so much, but WAY better then a cat. Got them too.
Boo rocks.
Maybe he wasn’t lookin for coffee on that site, maybe he was askin women what they want in a washer/dryer combo. (Go with it Boo)
Congrats on 10, I wonder if I’m gonna let Ug live that long.
April 26th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
See, now to me you NEED a cat with a washer and dryer that fancy - how else will you be able to brag about being able to get all the cat hair out of your clothes? I love our front loader washer and when it dies (many years from now of course) we’ll get another to replace it.
April 26th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I am so jealous on so many levels! Red, front loading, RED!!, brand new, RED!!!! Congrats and Happy Anniversary!
April 26th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
AWWWWWWW, Karen and George are so *cute*!!!! Are they twins?
Happy Anniversary, T
April 26th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Those are awesome! LOVE the red.
April 26th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
oooooooh.
aaaaaaaahhhhh.
very nice.
April 26th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Ooh…pretty…kinda makes me wish I needed a new washer and dryer. ;^)
April 26th, 2007 at 5:01 pm
You know what?
Something bugged me ALL day after I posted my comments.
As much as I like the red (it rawks after all) - and the thought of a steam washer is amazing and all..well - I’m (and American) used to TOP loading washing machines. I lived in the Middle East for 12+ years (and went through no less than 4 - FOUR!- front loading machines.) Just before we left the Middle East to move to UK (back to civilisation yeah!) - I decided I was going to find a trusty Whirlpool TOP loading machine. And I did.
And I just shipped it back to UK with all our stuff.
And I can’t find laundry detergent that works in TOP loading machines. So, I have to use more soap (the front loading machine detergent is a different formula!!!!!) and it’s costing me a fortune. But I know the damn thing won’t break.
I’m not trying to rain on your parade. I’m sure the machines you’re getting are far superior to anything I was able to get in the Middle East.
Just be sure you get the right laundry detergent for FRONT loaders;).
That is all.
Thanks for listening.
Over and out.
April 26th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
I want Karen and George to come to my house and be my new bestest friends.
I don’t even wanna know what you had to do to get those.
April 26th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
I have those in black, and let me just tell you…doin’ laundry will never be the same. We’ve had them almost 2 years, and the novelty of watching these babies run, has not diminished!!
Oh yeah, the clothes come out clean!!!
April 26th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Wow!! ALMOST as romantic as the Dyson I got for my birthday a couple years ago! His co-workers are mostly women and they still give him shit for buying me a vacuum for my birthday
April 26th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
They are my dream washer/dryer and in the perfect color!
How pathetic am I that I have a DREAM washer/dryer?
Somebody send me a life please!
April 26th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
sooooo jealous!!! Those are BEAUTIFUL.
I do have to tell you though.. You are a dipper and he is a dip n flipper
My little guy told me that years ago while out eating Mexican. He was about 3.. it stuck.
April 26th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Wow! Boo is the bestest! (Except for the gas thing!) I’ve wanted a front loader ever since I was in England years ago and the color is the Ritz!
But please, please if you get a kitty don’t let him/her be outside. They don’t need to be outside and it’s so much healthier for them inside–no fleas and ticks, no diseases, no fights with other cats, no attacks from dogs and wild animals, no getting hit by cars, etc. Our cats have always lived inside, are perfectly happy and the vet says they are the healthiest cats she’s ever seen. And two of them are 20 years old!
April 26th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Wow, those are some fancy machines.
April 27th, 2007 at 5:20 am
I just came.
April 27th, 2007 at 6:19 am
If you love British comedies you need to check out Confetti. It’s brilliant!
April 27th, 2007 at 7:24 am
Those are way too cool. Lucky wench.
April 27th, 2007 at 8:22 am
Awesome. I never thought I would love appliances. But those are smokin”!
Happy Anniversary…..
April 27th, 2007 at 11:42 am
(I’m on my way…bringing some laundry, and hopefully you’ll let me sit on the dryer, too. Heh.)
April 27th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
mamatulip - omg. cannot stop laughing.
April 27th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
oh. what mama tulip said.
ok, not literally. but damn. that is really hot.
April 27th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Lucky, lucky you.
Happy Anniversary!
April 27th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
I am so printing a copy of this post and leaving it my husbands car. Do you think he’ll get the hint???
April 27th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
oooooh, pretty! He’s a keeper, that’s for sure. Happy Anniversary to the both of you.
April 27th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Damn girl!! Looking good in candy apple red there! I have lots to catch up on on your site….I’ve been without my computer for FAR TOO LONG when we moved. But I’m back in action!
April 28th, 2007 at 9:59 am
Wow!!! I love Karen and George!
April 28th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Downhill? Prefer the “elephant on a tea-tray” analogy myself.
Just found you thanks to Kimmy (who is a star) - so, will take weeks to peruse….actually, that’s bollocks, I will have a look but first impression - grrrrrrrr
oh and ps, as opposed to piss, I have not dropped any links into the message because I think that’s really twatty
April 29th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
My domestic liitle hubby is salavating
May 1st, 2007 at 6:24 am
Hey, can I get a pair of those in blue?
May 1st, 2007 at 8:08 pm
The dipper/scooper thing is the same with me and my husband. I have to get him his own dip because it drives me INSANE!
Nice gifts!
May 2nd, 2007 at 9:45 am
Sa-WEET! And purty colors too! They match my pink razr cell phone! That’s love now…when you buy washer/dryers for anniversaries! =)