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Looking For a Hand Out
Note: Updated below…if you can make it that far.
Three times this week, during the quiet hours of the evening, while I have been ensconced in what ever brilliant piece of literature I have been reading (read: Cheesy romance novel describing the penis as a throbbing steel rod of manhood and the vagina as the soft folds of a feminine flower…) the telephone has rang. While this in itself is not unusual, the callers have all been three different telemarketers haranguing me to buy their credit cards, their long distance plans or their vacuums.
Three different times this week, I have been forced to tear myself from said brilliant literature to politely decline their offers. Last week I was inundated twice for different charities. It seems every time the phone rings these days, someone is looking to take my husband’s hard earned money off my hands.
Well, now it is my turn to flip the tables. I am sitting behind your computer screen with my hand held out, batting my eyelashes, trying to relieve you of some of your dough. Because after all, I know you are all hiding money trees out in your backyard and you just aren’t sharing.
Today is the Global Make A Wish Day for the Make a Wish Foundation. For 27 years this foundation has been granting the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to make their dreams come true.
I have had several opportunities to meet children who have been granted their wishes. A couple little friends of mine wanted nothing more than to go to Disneyland, while another wished for a therapy pool to relax his muscles and relieve the pain in his back and legs. One very special little girl that I had the pleasure of meeting and befriending wanted nothing more than to ride in a fire truck and play firefighter in her home town, some three thousand miles away from where her family currently resided. She missed her old friends and family. Her wish was granted and three weeks later she passed away a happy little girl.
Most of us don’t think about the children out in the world fighting their battles with disease, congenital deformities and onset of sudden illness. Occasionally, we are reminded by media, or when we see a child who is obviously ill or handicapped in the supermarket, that there are hundreds of children in our communities who fight a war they won’t win, one we will never really understand.
We duly donate a dollar with a purchase at Walmart or McDonalds, drop our spare change in the box next to the register and sometimes we even make monthly donations on our credit cards if we are fortunate enough to have the cash to spare. But do you ever think about the child that would benefit from your generosity?
I never did. I just did it out of obligation, some small guilt that niggled at the back of my conscience, thankful that it wasn’t one of my children that needed such services.
Until one day it was.
But in the course of his life I met many children who had such health problems it staggered my soul. Some children never leave the hospital in the course of their short lives, others like my Bug, could go home only to return days or weeks later. It is as though there is an invisible chain tethering them to the damn hospital.
As a parent it is easy enough to forget that your child is a child when you are struggling with their health. Worrying about whether they have the opportunity to play in the sand on a sunny day is not high on the priority list when you have medications, therapies and appointments just to keep that child alive, with you one more day. The stress of having a medically challenged child in a home takes it’s toll on every one, not just child.
But a sick child is still a child, as my Bug’s laughter would often remind me. And every child deserves a dream. Sadly, the severely ill child often does not have the simple benefit of health to be able to chase their dreams like most children. They simply lack the time.
Bug was granted a wish. I was honored and yet dismayed, for I realized that this meant he really was fragile. It was a harsh reminder of just how fleeting his life might be. But it was an amazing gift that would not only benefit my sick child, but my two small others, so often overlooked because of their baby brother.
Boo and I decided to make the cliched trip to Disneyland. Shalebug was especially fascinated with people stuffed inside mascot costumes and he loved the thrill of the more gentle rides. We would take Fric and Frac and create the memories a child could dine on for an eternity. It would have benefited the whole family.
Sadly, Bug’s time ran out, and his wish was not granted.
But I still sit here, smiling pretty, asking you to think of all the children out there who may never have an opportunity to embarrass themselves on national television to chase their dreams of stardom. I’m asking you to think of the kids who will never get to run the diamond of a baseball field, or sit in the bleachers next to their parents who are chugging back the beer.
I want to remind you there is so much out there most of us take for granted on a daily basis; normal everyday things like going on a class field-trip to the fire-hall to sit in the fire truck and then eat icecream with twenty other kids with sticky fingers and silly grins.
The people with the Make a Wish Foundation haven’t forgotten.
Please consider supporting them. I’ll even jump through hoops of fire, naked, if that’s what it takes to make you donate.
Now I’m standing up and brushing the dirt off my knees. This begging stuff is hard on a girl’s back.
Update: The sands in the hour glass have slipped through the glass and it is no longer April 29. While I’m still sitting here with my palm out, looking to grab your cash, I understand a lot of people don’t have the means to support a charity of any type while struggling to make the bills. I do ask, however, that you think of the kiddies out there who aren’t as fortunate and as healthy as most of ours. Sometimes the simple kindness of a smiling stranger is all it takes to make their dream come true.
Now I’m coming down from my soap box (albeit with absolutely no grace or dignity left intact) and I’ll be back tomorrow with the funny. But I wanted to thank all of you who took the time to remember my Bug, and donated. It’s not too late. I, er, they will take your money anytime!! Thank you so much for allowing me to hit you over the head with my personal two by four. Your generosity and support is amazing.
April 29th, 2007 at 5:21 am
Anyone who can make me cry while making a charity appeal gets my money, such as it is.
Love you, RM.
April 29th, 2007 at 5:50 am
Oh man, I got all misty in my coffee. We don’t have a lot of cash laying around so we have to be picky about which groups get our money. But you just added this group to our list. I’ve always known about the foundation. And I’ve known several families with medically fragile kids. But I’ve never put this group on our list before. But you got me! And you don’t even have to get naked this time. You won me with your heart.
April 29th, 2007 at 5:50 am
He sure was a pretty boy.
I love how he’s looking at you in the chair photo. (I had to sort of whizz right on by the first photo-it broke my heart) It’s like he’s sitting there thinking…”there she is again. got that damn camera in her hand…takin’ pictures of me…”
Where I work (medical clinic) we are asked to donate a portion of our check (3% annually) to a charity -tomorrow I will go to work and change mine to The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Thanks for the reminder that there are more charities other than the obvious.
April 29th, 2007 at 6:25 am
You rope me in with your cheap romance words and then you get me all tearful over morning coffee.
No wonder Boo loves ya.
I’ll look into it hon. No promises but I’ll look into it. In truth I never really believed that particular charity, but I read your words and I believe you.
I suppose it is easy to take good health for granted.
I love hearing and seeing about Bug.
April 29th, 2007 at 7:50 am
oh, friend. oh. the depths of what you’ve been through - all i can think is how amazingly strong you must be.
of course i will support a charity that means so much to you. of course.
April 29th, 2007 at 7:56 am
I have a friend who took her son to swim with the dolphins through this charity but I never thought of donating. I will. And thanks for sharing your son’s life. I turned around just as I typed this to find Katie with a guilty smile on her face, she has her sister’s friend’s shoes on and knows she not supposed to. I’m thankful I still have here to make me laugh and smile and I’m so sorry that you lost Boo. My heart breaks when I think of it. Take care.
April 29th, 2007 at 7:56 am
Not Boo, Bug. My bad.
April 29th, 2007 at 10:03 am
My sister had a friend granted a wish from the foundation, she wanted a Mickey Mouse tombstone. Sadly her wish was granted 15 years ago.
The next few months are tough ones for us (hubby is switching jobs) but I will look into donating after that. It certainly is a wonderful foundation.
Your Bug’s story still amazes me and your strength well there are no words.
April 29th, 2007 at 10:08 am
Oh gosh, you need a kleenex warning at the top of these posts. Of course, I’ll donate.
April 29th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
It’s important to hear about the “real” people who benefit and support these charities. It makes all the difference in the world.
“Thank you” just doesn’t cover it when it comes to how much you’ve shared and not held back about your family’s experience. You are one of the strongest people I “know”.
April 29th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
OK, you just made a jaded reporter weepy, dammit.
So sad. But so beautifully told. Your Bug was lucky — so lucky — wish granted or no — to have you.
April 30th, 2007 at 5:16 am
Your wish is my command, babe. It may not be right this very moment, but I’ll make a donation.
xo
April 30th, 2007 at 7:23 am
That last picture.. oh… the things those eyes of his are telling you in that one quick second.
Ask and ye shall receive.
April 30th, 2007 at 8:52 am
I have been donating to Make a Wish for the past year in honor of a very dear friend of mine who passed away. I didn’t know yesterday was a special fundraising day for them, but the anniversary of my friend’s death is this week and that seems like a perfect time to shower that great organization with little more cash. Thanks for reminding me.
April 30th, 2007 at 11:47 am
That’s the nicest way that anyone has ever tried to pick my pockets.
One of my girlfriends works for Make A Wish here in New England and she’s always parting me from the few measly dollars I earn. However, I’m still going to head over to the site you linked to. I may not make much but I make enough to help those kids.
April 30th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
For my niece, it was Disneyworld. She had wanted to meet Ernie and Bert and have a guest spot on Sesame Street but the producers of the Street couldn’t make it work. Disneyworld it was. She might not have gotten her exact wish but she got that better wish in the end. She lived.
April 30th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Like so many before, money is tight, but I promise I’ll do it when I can. I assure you your words and their life weight will stay with me for the rest of my days.
April 30th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
His sweet face is a beautiful one.
I love Make A Wish. They helped my niece when she was dealing with cancer. Very amazing blessing and amazing idea for a charity…..they catch me every year. :o)
April 30th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
I just love that last picture of Bug. I love the way he’s resting his face in his hand like a little man.
I’m currently living on the med school loans. But…I promise to remember Make a Wish and that picture of Bug when I do finally start making some dough.
April 30th, 2007 at 10:00 pm
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May 1st, 2007 at 3:04 am
Make a Wish is now on my list of worthy charities and I’m so sorry for your loss. Just over from Perfect Post Awards and hoping you get lots of great donations for your cause today.
May 1st, 2007 at 7:11 am
Thank you for a touching story…I just made a donation (to Mexico, forwhatever reason…I love that you can specify a location). Sometimes I forget how lucky we are that my son’s diabetes is “manageable.” I can’t imagine the feeling of helplessness that goes with situation you were/are in. So maybe a donation will help some parent feel a little bit of control and make a kid happy for awhile.
May 1st, 2007 at 7:38 am
I have no idea what to say. I am so sorry for your loss of such a beautiful child. You are right about the Make a Wish foundation. They deserve our support just as the children making the wishes deserve a brief bit of sunshine in their lives.
May 1st, 2007 at 10:47 am
I think daily, almost, that if I lost my child, it would kill me on the spot. I would just give up. Bless you.
My husband is out a job, (has been for months) but I will use my work matching funds donation form thing to double up what I can afford.
May 1st, 2007 at 9:09 pm
[…] this special plea for The Make a Wish Foundation, an organization that makes me cry just to think about it. Imagine […]
May 2nd, 2007 at 10:22 am
I really wish I could donate right now, but all my funds are tied up in vet bills.
Again.
But I took time to remember your bug and I always smile when I see people.
May 3rd, 2007 at 4:18 am
Wow. I’m speechless, moved, achingly sad, and yet inspired.
Make a wish indeed.
May 8th, 2007 at 7:14 am
My daughter is waiting for her Wish to be granted. I just wanted to thank you for helping get the word out for donations. It is a very strange feeling being on this side of Make a Wish, as I never ‘expected’ to be…but isn’t that the case always? Anyways…often people overlook this part of a child’s life who is dealing with some catastrophic illness. Many donations are made to hospitals, research, etc but often people don’t realize the healing powers of a child having fun. Thanks from one wish-mom.