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Oh, the Hole I’ve Dug
There are times in a person’s life when one wonders if they have lost their mind.
Today is one of those moments for me.
I am one of five parents accompanying 42 grade four students to Drumheller, Ab to go look at dinosaur bones. We are going to be sleeping in a barn. With 42 kids amped up on sugar, freedom and the excitement of being away from home.
My life freaking sucks. Life doesn’t get any better than this.
I generally try to avoid such commitments which will add wrinkles, or grey hairs. How I got sucked into this is beyond me. Oh wait, I know. Guilt. Big blue eyes. “Mommy, you’re the best!” And a big ass bottle of wine.
This is why I shouldn’t be left alone with small children. I make questionable judgment calls.
Anyone remember last years trip to the badlands? Then one where I was THAT mom. Hopefully, this year’s adventure will go more smoothly.
So when I stumble back late Thursday night, sunburnt, tired, and run absolutely ragged, have pity on me. I’m fragile. I’ll have lost my mind.Somewhere out in the middle of nowhere.
I’ll be the one digging up bones and wondering how the hell I managed to get myself into this mess in the first place. Actually, more likely, I’ll be the one hiding behind the school bus taking swigs from my “special” water bottle while letting the kids run loose in the canyon.
Yah, that sounds more accurate. Wish me luck. I’ll be back on Friday.
May 15th, 2007 at 6:52 am
Yep, you’ve definitely finally lost the last of your marbles.
It’ll help on this trip though!
LOL…
Have fun chicklet.
May 15th, 2007 at 6:54 am
I get to go with 72 fifth graders to a science museum on Thurs. I so know your pain. The “special” water bottle sounds like a good idea.
May 15th, 2007 at 7:11 am
I am sending mr mumma on the grade 4 overnight at the zoo. snort. my petty little revenge.
Make sure your ’special’ water bottle has white wine in it, you don’t want the tell tale purple lips.
Have fun! I really truly wish I could be there with you because it sounds like my type of heaven…plus, I just know you would love my brand of twisted humour and trucker mouth.
May 15th, 2007 at 7:49 am
Best of luck. And you’re the kind of mom kids would love to have as their chaperon.
(That means you’re cool.)
May 15th, 2007 at 8:02 am
it’s amazing how much Whiskey resembles Snapple
May 15th, 2007 at 9:17 am
Good luck in DrumHELLer with the kiddies!
May 15th, 2007 at 9:24 am
Good luck.
Camel backs are great for constant ‘refreshment’. You don’t even have to hold the darn thing. woohoo.
Have fun!!
May 15th, 2007 at 9:24 am
I only have one thing to say. You are insane.
May 15th, 2007 at 9:28 am
Look at little miss jetsetter. Flying away with Boo, camping out in the canyons with the kids. You wait, Nixon will be leaving you many presents to step in when you get back.
And drink up that special water, you dont want to dehydrate out there in the sun.
May 15th, 2007 at 9:46 am
You’ll have a great time. And if you don’t, just remember to dig that hole really deep. You don’t want anyone discovering the bodies.
May 15th, 2007 at 9:58 am
Oh my. I can’t even imagine. Good luck! It better be a big bottle of wine.
May 15th, 2007 at 10:44 am
*lol* Have fun!
May 15th, 2007 at 10:53 am
Good times!
Oh the things I have to look forward to in a few years
Can’t wait to hear the stories upon your return.
May 15th, 2007 at 11:03 am
Actually, that sounds better than the “field trips” our schools have planned to torture us with this year!
Enjoy - the wine too!
May 15th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
be brave, and remember “special” water makes you pee. Alot.
May 15th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
I’m glad it’s you and not me! You’ll probably handle it far better than I would.
Have fun;)!
May 15th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
You’re completely mad.
Those kids are going to kick your ass!
May 15th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
You’re going to come back beat down and ragged. Be afraid. Sleep with one eye open too. Just to be on the safe side. Good luck.
May 15th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Well that sounds like a ton of fun. I bet you will be the rockinest Mom their.
May 15th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
You really are a glutton for punishment, aren’t you?
It’s entirely possible that by the time you get home from your fantastic bone digging trip, I’ll be offline and ready to move my brains out. So hugs and sloppy, wet kisses, and a boob grab for good measure. I’ll miss you, babe.
May 15th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
I just stumbled upon your blog and really dig your writing style. I’d be thrilled if you checked out my rant site and maybe even submitted something. RantasaurusRex.com
May 15th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
I think that dosing up before you actually get there will help…start now!
May 15th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
I’ve only read parts of your blog. Mostly just the recent entries. You seem a little off-sane to me. I would do the same thing for a kid though. But hell, I know I’m nuts =]
May 15th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
at least it is all for a good cause–to let us here in blog world share a laugh at your expense…i mean to share a laugh with you…LOL
May 15th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
the only time i ever went to Drumheller i was ten, and with my dad for the one and only summer i ever went to stay with him…he took my seven year old half-brother and i through the badlands and the landscape still haunts my mind.
i dream of going back.
but not on a school trip. ick. thpppht. hurry back.
oh…and thanks for getting Randy Travis’ catchy “Diggin’ Up Bones” stuck in my head. i…erm…needed that.
May 15th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
Wow! In a barn?
Good luck.
May 16th, 2007 at 4:53 am
With all this jettsetting lately, Nixon is going to leave you a nice present in your shoe.
May 16th, 2007 at 7:03 am
I kinda think it sounds like fun. But mostly because I don’t have to go.
Bring earplugs.
May 16th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
my comments are being eaten, me thinks. My creativity is gone so here I am inserting a witty comment.
~insert witty comment here~
May 16th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
God. you poor poor soul. It’s the Barn part that scares me shitless for you. (or for the kids. not sure yet)
May 16th, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Bring earplugs AND an iPod. And a CASE of that ’special’ water.
Have fun and if we don’t hear back from you, we’ll check all the psych wards until we find you and break ya out!
May 16th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
LUCK LUCK AND MORE LUCK! You will be fine and you will have fun … but yes make sure you have that “Special Water”
May 16th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
but it’s exactly this, right? why we are so amazing. doing these freaky ass things we really don’t want to do.
you good momma, you.
May 16th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
Just think of it this way my friend, when you get home, you will have a new respect for exactly how good Mommy Juice can be. And you will appreciate it all the more.
I bet you brought the air mattress this time didn’t you?
May 17th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Hahahahahahaha! Ah, that’s funny!
What on earth would possess you to… oh, nevermind.
You brave, brave woman. Good luck. Drink lots.
May 17th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
I commented again and it ate it. Do you hate me? Did my post on being needlephobic scare you? Could I ask any more questions?
May 17th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
I’m going to scream.
May 17th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
Here’s hoping the trip surprises you.
May 17th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Mind the rattlesnakes.
May 18th, 2007 at 8:05 am
I’m sensing a Joe Dirt moment coming on…. Don’t lose any of those kids, okay?
May 18th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
I hope you are sitting down with a big glass of wine, in a room without kiddos, right this very moment.
May 18th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
Are you back? ARE YOU ALIVE?
May 19th, 2007 at 5:02 am
I just prayed for you!