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Ode to Boobs
I should have been born a boy. In fact, up until the moment of my screaming arrival, my parents and the doctor were convinced I was a boy. They had a lovely boy name picked out for me and everything. I wrecked their plans when I had a whoohoo instead of a willy.
But I wonder if all that male confusion somehow imprinted itself onto my personality while I was in utero. Not that I’m not feminine, and my darling Boo will attest to the fact that I not only have all the right female parts but I know how to use them, (wink, wink) but like boys, I am fascinated by one thing.
Actually, a pair of things. Boobs.
I love boobs. Tits, love sacks, fun bags, the girls, breasts. I’ll take them all. I tease Boo if he were to grow a pair he’d be the perfect man. However, since he’s not much of a cross-gendered transvestite, I have to make do like most of the male persuasion, and oogle.
I now have grown to appreciate my little set. I’ve decorated them and learned how to make them seem bigger than they really are. I have invested heavily in water bras, pushup bras, underwires, chicken cutlets, foam inserts and even occasionally a roll of duct tape. (Best invention ever!)
I have made peace with my pair. My husband is fond of them. They worked when I asked them to and they haven’t dropped to my ankles yet. So why is it, when I see a woman, attractive or not, I just itch to grab her boobs? Just to cop a quick feel. Are they soft, are they real? Do they really feel like the big cottony cushions they resemble?
Is this normal? Do I have some not-so-latent lesbian fascination? Am I alone in my love of the boob?
(Standing up from behind her computer screen and raising her hand) Hi, my name is T and I am enchanted by boobs. Especially your boobs. Please keep them well covered and out of arms reach (and I have freakishly long arms) so as not to entice my obsession.
Or come a little closer and undo that top button. Which ever floats your boat. I promise not to complain either way.
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:34 am
I’m kind of with you on that. I’m not flat but I’m certainly not as well endowed as the other women in my family…and I think I’ve always been a bit jealous
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:50 am
I got big moraccas, thanks to my mother. I’ll give you some of mine, if you want!
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:05 am
I think I love you.
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:25 am
Fun bags. That’s what my boyfriend calls them too.
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:31 am
I’m with ya there, girfriend! BOOBIES… drool!
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:36 am
RM, if I could share some of mine with you, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I am too well-endowed for my own taste. I am a C, even a D according to the old ladies in the intimates department.
And I have always wanted to be an A or B.
Go figure.
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:57 am
Well I’m out of my league here….I don’t have any. But I understand your enjoyment of them. I certainly get great pleasure from what I see and feel.
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:29 am
I have to disagree, bigger is not always better.
Mrs. Joe is not too happy with hers since our two, either. She feels the breastfeeding did her in as well. And she too, has spent quite a bit “putting them back where they should be”.
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:31 am
If you grab me at Blogher I’ll slap you. Not that you would, my tatas are on the smallish side. You’ll have to explain the whole duct tape phenomenon to me.
May 22nd, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Hmmm, if I make it Blogher, I’ll try not to nurse in front of you, okay? They were big already, but now, in the midst of nursing a big hungry baby? They are H cups. Seriously. My back is killing me. Trust me, the bigger is not always the better. After I wean this one they will be down to my knees.
But they do look good right now, if I must say myself. BigDaddyFish would vouch for that. A nice set is always a thing of beauty.
May 22nd, 2007 at 12:43 pm
I’d gladly hold my hands up and take off my shirt for you! I have plenty to share!
May 22nd, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Oh my honey, you can have mine. You know how the other day you said you used to be athletic? Me too. But then as the years went by (we’re the same age), everytime I tried a new birth control, my tay tas got a cup bigger. I am currently a “G” cup. I hate my top!!! They are heavy!!! They look good, but damn I remember “c” cups. And they were about the best size for perky and fun and NOT IN THE DAMN WAY.
Oh, and for the weird checkin’ out the competition? Nah, we all can appreciate an good looking personal feature on another person. From Butts to Boobs babe.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:03 pm
*covers up her 40D chest* Now, what’s funny about this for me is that I married an “ass man” meaning he likes big old butts. Mine wasn’t quite the badonkeydonk he was going for, but he decided not to be shallow.
Every other man I’ve dated/married has been a tit man.
I have converted my redneck to the joys of big boobs. He LOVES them now.
I don’t have your obsession, but I like a nice ass on a man. According to Desmond Morris, men (or women) like great cleavage because it resembles the ass when it’s presented for copulation.
I probably share your obsession and it manifests itself by major drooling over men butt candy.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:12 pm
You are so freakin’ twisted and funny.
You would love my rack.
And I am sure I would love yours.
And I share with you a not so mild attraction to a good set. I find myself most attracted to the Varga Girl style, or comic book style. Total exaggeration for me.
mmm mmm
As to my fantasies….don’t even get me started.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:30 pm
You can have these DD’s T…
So I had on a shirt with a zipper (cause the girls dont react well to buttons…) yesterday and it was hot as balls here - so I’d unzipped it a bit. And stopped at the local chain pharmacy to drop off my scripts for filling - could NOT figure out why the chick pharmacy clerk was having issues meeting my eyes but the dude walking out was smiling at me like no tomorrow. That is, until I got in the car. What a dumbass, party of 1, am I. So T….I’ll gladly give you some of these tig ol bitties….
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:39 pm
I never really thought about it, I guess. I’ve always been top heavy, and especially when I nursed (I could put out large house fires, you know) but back in my modeling days I guess I saw enough to get bored. hehe.
I’m with Jennifer, I can’t get enough of a nice butt. Have I even told you Mr. Coffee can do squats on one leg. And you’d think I married him for money….
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:50 pm
You’ll so be reaching for mine then. Mine are way to big for my liking. They are soft and cuddly and yep, you’d definitely cop a feel.
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:44 pm
You’d be proud of The Boss. Just ten minutes ago she was ripping the neck of my shirt away from my body to get a better look, then she tried to remove my bra, too. BOOBIES! She finds them endlessly amusing. I have no problem with it, but there are others who have fought for their modesty when she dove in and tried to get her face into their shirts.
May 22nd, 2007 at 4:54 pm
You really have to check out this Marriage for Dummies blog. I think you would really like it.
http://marriagefordummies.blogspot.com/
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:29 pm
So so silly you are … haha mine are big but because I am fat … the fat goes stright there … I am a D and I prefered when I was a C … I had a C when I was fit … I need to get in shape then you would like them!
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:45 pm
This post is Hil.ar. i. ous.
I worked with this one woman who was dying to grab my boobs all the time. She was a totally hetero, middle-aged mother of two. Finally, I relented and she was so happy.
I am way grabbable, apparently.
As to your questio, I’ll sneak a peek now and then, I admit it.
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:02 pm
I would disappoint, we refer to my chest as “lack o rack”.
You would love my friend, though. After she had her boob job, she whipped ‘em out and insisted I touch them. To be honest, she didn’t have to insist too much.
Hey I was curious!
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:37 pm
I useta be a D now I’m a ‘full B’ and now they’re long. How ya feel about LONG? I am in the process of getting these girls lifted back to where they once were when I was a young girl. If that happens I’ll letcha oogle my goodies anyday.
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:05 pm
I managed a somewhat naughty lingrie store back in my day and woo hoo boobs facinate me too. I’m unable to tell my husband this though. It would cause him to pass out and die.
Not what I want.
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Yeah, boobs are awesome. I think I’d be afraid to touch, though. Hilarious post.
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:15 pm
I love me a nice set of boobs!
I love me a nice ass
nice legs
nice eyes
But only naturals rock my world!!
May 22nd, 2007 at 7:23 pm
I thought I was the only one!!! I love a good pair of boobs, of which I am also in posession. But seriously, a friend of mine had hers um, enhanced and the first thing she did when they healed up and let me feel her up. Ah the joys of bewbs.
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:16 pm
I’m an A/B, they went to a firm c when I was breastfeeding but only for the seven months I fed dumpling. Now they are back to looking like a slightly developed teenager, I’ve never had the type of boobs that have an ‘overhang’, you know touch the skin underneath! I read somewhere that if you can hold one pencil under your breast without it falling then thats a good size perky breast, my mum says does it count if she can hold a pencil case and a lunch box….! At least mine being small means they didnt droop much after two kids, not enought to droop!
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:55 am
Hey, let’s swap. Feel free to take my HUMUNGOUS melons and I’ll have your As.
(PS. Finally got around to answering those darn questions. Only six months late!)
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:29 am
I got bazongas. I have to special order all of my bras because my size isn’t carried in stores. The last ones I ordered were J’s and they were too small in the cup. My back hurts all the time.
The hubby isn’t complaining though.
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:25 am
I just love that you freely stand up and admit it, I think all “small” women secretly look…cause it’s something we don’t have. We admire, I say we cause I’m a big fan of enhancements…I love Victoria’s Secret.
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:28 am
Ah, don’t worry, you’re normal. I’m a D cup and I’m fascinated with boobs too. Not attracted sexually to them or anything, just fascinated. I think it just all goes back to them being our primary source of nutrition in the very beginning.
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:34 am
I love you.
You can touch mine. I’ll let you!
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:28 am
I’m fascinated with boobs as well, again probably because of my own lack. Since my youngest developed her boobs and of course, I’m taking care of her, I no longer find them so fascinating. Her’s are huge, she’s 28F. They dont’ even make bras that big and that small. But what’s worse is how much they sag already, she’s 14! And they’re covered in stretch marks. Cured me.
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:34 am
I guess I never got on the boob bandwagon because I haven’t been able to go without a bra since the end of elementary school. Big boobs aren’t all they are cracked up to be when you have a small frame. Sure, they’re fun to look at, but they’re not that fun to lug around.
I don’t think your fascination is abnormal or secret-squirrel lesbian, though. I think it’s pretty normal. So, oogle away!
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:23 pm
BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!
Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!
Ahem.
T, I am certain that yours are quite loveley as they are. The additional decorations?
Oh yeah.
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:25 pm
It’s total boob envy, and me and my barely-B’s are right there with ya!
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:43 pm
i has boobs. i likes ‘em. but i always wanted to try going without a bra, so i’m kinda hoping that stopping nursing will effectively result in a reduction. preferably without saggage.
yes, it’s nice here in my fantasy world. come over…you can touch ‘em before they disappear.
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Just grab ‘em.
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:15 pm
I got boobs. Real ones. Enhanced by VS Very Sexy Push Up bras. I like my boobs. Guys seem to also. Girls too…just tonight at dinner I caught my best friend checking out my rack. I called her on it and she says “I can’t help it. They are right out in front, looking all perky through your tshirt tonight.”
You’re not alone!
What I notice is if a fellow female needs to invest in a good bra. I just don’t get the droopies or ill fitting over the shoulder boulder holders with so many choices out there.
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Oh, T, how you always come through for me!
I leave you for a few short weeks (involuntarily) and return to blog. I find myself in need of that blasted nipple piercing post (so that I may link to it for all to see) and here, in TODAY’S blog, you link it just for me!! Plus you show a lovely pair of ta tah’s for me to enjoy!
I, too, have a strange urge to feel up strange women just to see what they feel like. Are they like mine? I heard the fake ones are hard. But, if I were not a plus-size gal, I would be in the C’s, no doubt. It’s not my enormous tits that make my bras not fit, it’s my fat everywhere else!
Helloooo South Beach!
May 24th, 2007 at 9:18 am
I’ve got a pair of DDs, and I’m fascinated by other sets, myself. The ones I like are the cute perky A’s. They’re adorable. I wish I had some of my very own.
May 25th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
Ahhh I love titties too (perhaps for reasons other than the ladies here *wink*) and I used to have little A’s and got fat and now have D’s. I LIKE my girls so much I almost dont want to lose weight!
May 25th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
They ain’t that great when ya got em…
May 31st, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Seems to me your interest in other gals’ boobs is very normal. I occasionally fantasize about doing certain things to another woman’s boobs (but none of her other parts, thanks very much, and I’ve never been in love with a woman), and my little sister, perfectly hetero as far as we know, and married with children (not that that means anything, now does it) once mentioned she finds other women’s breasts of interest. I suspect we all do …