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Return of Pass the Puns…
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted my cheese. There have been a variety of reasons for this, most of them liquor induced and involving some small wish for the pain to stop, the Tylenol bottle to magically refill itself and a general wish for the world to stop spinning on it’s axis.
My parents must be soooo proud of me. Snicker.
Ahem, it seems I am digressing into the world of passive aggressiveness. Focus, T, focus.
This morning I woke up to the sound of the birds chirping, the frogs singing, my dog softly snoring and Fric and Frac whispering. They were actually concerned about waking me up. They were being considerate.
Damn it. The one morning I wake up early and can’t get back to sleep, they decide to act like the children I work hard to raise. Polite and respectful. Where the hell are these kids when I’m begging for more sleep, and little hoodlums are chasing each other through the house while practising their war whoops?
Ahem. I’m like a small child distracted by a butterfly this morning. Sorry folks. Back to the cheese. I have some and I’m willing to share. (Don’t you feel so lucky now??)
Now I’m off to go chase butterflies and harness the power of a ten year old and a nine year old. There’s 20 acres of lawn waiting to be mowed, and it’s not going to mow itself. Nor will it be mowed by me.
Just picture me with a lemonade in one hand, a whip in the other, a dog under my lounge chaise while I yell, bark out, er, encourage the kiddies to mow in a straight line. Yah. That’s it.
Enjoy your day, and le fromage.
A toothless termite walked into a saloon and asked, “Is the bar tender here?”
May 27th, 2007 at 8:38 am
That one took me a few moments but I’m dumb like that. Hey t!
May 27th, 2007 at 9:30 am
I’m still hungover from last night so I STILL don’t get it. LOL.
Have fun “encouraging” the kids.
May 27th, 2007 at 9:40 am
Excellent plan! But you should really make one of them give you a nice pedicure while the OTHER one mows.
May 27th, 2007 at 9:55 am
That was the worst joke ever.
I love it.
May 27th, 2007 at 9:59 am
Ok I am not hungover last night and I admit I don’t get it
Maybe a few nips and it will come to me??
May 27th, 2007 at 10:11 am
20 acres! shite!
May 27th, 2007 at 10:13 am
Ok I know I’m a little slow out of the gate and all, but I don’t get this one. Where’s the pretty colored pictures to go along and explain?
20 acres to mow? You need to get you a goat. That’s what you need.
May 27th, 2007 at 11:27 am
You are going to have liquor in the lemonade right?
May 27th, 2007 at 11:34 am
I get it and it only took me reading it twice. I think I am getting better at this.
And thank you for the cheese, it is my true craving on Sunday.
May 27th, 2007 at 11:56 am
*groan*
I did chuckle, though.
May 27th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
there’s a big moron and a little moron on a roof, and the big moron falls off, why not the little moron?
because he was a little more on.
badumching!
May 27th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Bad, bad pun. I loved it.
May 27th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
snort.
hope the lawn looks good.
May 27th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Ouch.
But perhaps they’re whispering because they know they have to mow the lawn when you wake up.
May 27th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
THAT is your best pun yet. I love it!!
May 27th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
That was SOOO cheezy. My husband thought it was hysterical. How do I know this? He always throws his head back, his jaw drops open and then no sound comes out. That’s his ‘that was hysterical’ laugh.
May 27th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
Yes, lots of liquor in the lemonade for sure!
ps. hope the adoption asshats get their balls rolling soon!
May 27th, 2007 at 8:59 pm
That’s my kid’s fave!
May 28th, 2007 at 4:44 am
OMG, I had a dream about you last night, T! We were at my grandparent’s house in Texas — and you had driven all the way from Canada to visit me (I’d flown over from UK). You had a baby in tow and you were tired, but up for celebrations. Celebration of what kind, I do not know. It was a dream. It was odd. But we had lots of laughs.
May 28th, 2007 at 5:51 am
yuk yuk.
um…when your kids are done with the lawn, can they come do mine? it’s small. and i have a whip too…
wink, wink. ahem.
i think it’s pretty sweet that they whispered, even if you were awake, though. sucky for you, about the awake part. but nice to know your hard work in parenting is turning them into moderately considerate people.
May 28th, 2007 at 6:16 am
Bar. Tender.
It took me a while, but I got it. Eventually.