Subscribe in a Reader
I Can’t Be Right All The Time
A couple of weeks back, I was standing with Boo in the middle of a store, staring at a row of lawn mowers and my eyes were slowly starting to glaze over from boredom. All the talk of engine prowess, blade length, gas vs. electric was not exactly what I had in mind when he offered to take me shopping.
Bugger. He totally bamboozled me.
Boo was sold on a shiny looking mower that was self-propelled and a hundred and fifty smackers more than the mower beside it, which was just an old fashioned push mower.
I was all about saving the hundred and fifty smackers. There was a pair of sandals I had in mind and that hundred and fifty would go a long way in buying those pretty shoes, plus some.
After all, how hard would it be to push a lawn mower around the front lawn. We have a ride along mower for the big stuff. Why spend the extra money?
Because it is FACKING hard work, that is why.
I’m too pretty to sweat like this. No wonder Fric and Frac looked like they were going to keel over from exhaustion after mowing half of the lawn on Sunday.
Next time, I’ll keep my big yap shut. There are no sandals in the world pretty enough to push a stubborn, heavy, loud, rattling mower up and down the hills I call my yard.
Yes, I am a twit. And my husband was right. Even if it pains me to admit it.
I am now in the process of trying to kill said new mower so that I can get me a fancy self-propelled mower. Don’t tell Boo.
Learn from me people. Sometimes menfolk really do know what they are talking about.
May 30th, 2007 at 8:43 am
I’m laughing at you babe.
Can’t help it. heheheee…
May 30th, 2007 at 9:24 am
Yes, but we can’t ever let them know that
May 30th, 2007 at 9:33 am
I’ll always use a stand-behind mower instead of a riding mower. It takes longer to do the job. Mind you, the sooner I finish the lawn, the sooner Mrs. Joe gives me another task like cleaning the gutters.
Besides, who wants to stand on a ladder 20ft in the air getting all dirty when you can be aimlessly walking around your yard?
May 30th, 2007 at 9:51 am
LOL! You are not a twit. Sometimes we have to stand our ground, even when they are right.
May 30th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Hmmm…3 words
Sugar
Gas tank
May 30th, 2007 at 10:57 am
Can we get pictures of this endeavor? I need visuals to learn a lesson….
May 30th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Why the heck were YOU mowing the lawn is what I wanna know.
May 30th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Hrmmm.. maybe sending Big Ug off to work for long periods of time isn’t such a hot idea… I don’t even know how to turn our lawn mower on much less if it’s gas or electric. Spoiled I am, spoiled.
Erm… sorry girl, those push ones last forfreakinever, best bet, suck it up, tell him he was right (mumble it so he may or may not have heard it) and go buy the self propelled one.
Then point out his spiffy new toy every time the grass gets knee high.
May 30th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
oh GOD, a push-mower. What are you, nuts? (yes. yes you are.)
May 30th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
At least yours is gas-powered. Daddymatic insisted on buying the push-mower that uses only human power. Of course, as Eddie Izzard has pointed out, the grass just kind of lays down until you put the mower away, but hey, global warming can kiss my hiney, huh?
May 30th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Doesn’t it suck when your partner is actually right, dang it all? You know how much I hate to be wrong, too (after the recent bet I lost).
By the way, *thank you* for what you said about me kinda being your ‘Tony’. That was the best compliment I’ve received in a long time!
(PS -I don’t look TOO much like Tony. Although I do have a pointy nose)
May 30th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Just don’t tell him he’s right. Break the damn thing. Rip a cord out or somethin’ and make ‘em take it back…just don’t own up to it.
May 30th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
I hope you love your sandals. A lot.
May 30th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
LOLOL
I’d like to be able to say the last thing I pushed was a baby out of me, but it’s not true. Sometimes I have to mow when the Man isn’t around.
Some words of well earned wisdom:
Don’t get an electric mower —- too easy to run over the wire. And that shit’s not funny or remotely safe with dogs and kids around.
May 30th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Hey, you saved $150 *and* you got a free exercise program thrown in:o)
May 30th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Don’t over-estimate that men folk thing. We don’t know that much. We just know ways to avoid hard work. LOL
May 30th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
I agree —- break the damn thing … sugar in the gas tank will do it …
May 30th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
Dude, don’t you have a shitload of property? We have just over half an acre and we bought a riding lawnmower. Not because we’re too pretty to sweat, but because we are LAZY FUCKERS.
May 30th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Lawnmowers for boys = Jimmy Choos for gals. That is all. Thank you.
May 30th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Lawn equipment? I can show you how to break some lawn equipment. I’m a pro at that kind of stuff.
May 30th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
Can’t you convince Boo that you’re a delicate flower, unfit for such punishing pursuits?
You know…lie!
May 30th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
I’ve tried the “delicate flower” routine. So far, the redneck hasn’t bought it. So, I mow the lawn. I keep trying to speak his language. “Me woman. Me housework. You man. You yard work” but he just grunts at me.
If you tell him he was right long enough, he’ll buy the new mower anyway. And he’ll be putty in your hands.
May 30th, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Oh goodness, I had a self propelled lawn mower — I’m not very tall and I had to run in order to keep up with the mower. We sold it at a carport sale because it was so difficult to use around trees and shrubs, as long as your yard is flat, square, without trees or shrubs, and you like running at full speed while you mow a self propelled mower is good, but I’d stick with the one you have.
May 31st, 2007 at 1:20 am
How do you kill a push mower? I need to know. There must be a self-propelled model in my future too, as I’m tired of sweating like a pig mowing far less than you!
May 31st, 2007 at 5:09 am
this is why, when Dave laments our postage stamp of a lawn, i get down and praise Jeebus for its tiny little self. because even as a lazy delicate flower, with a no-gas push mower, it only takes me twelve minutes.
great outdoors, my ass.
perhaps your new mower should get tragically ’stolen?’
May 31st, 2007 at 7:46 am
Push mowers are built waaaay too well these days. I recommend some of that weed wacker twine or some kind of rope or such…. run over a whole lot of it, it will wrap around the spinning blade and if it wraps enough the blade might stop and then you’ll overheat the motor and it will freeze up!
Will probably smell really bad and sound worse. Have a fire extinguisher strategically placed nearby.
Oops, honey, I think I ran over something!
May 31st, 2007 at 10:51 am
I “accidentally” ran over a metal fence post that was sticking up out of the ground one time. Bent the axle. Couldn’t even pull the starter string thing. No fixing that one. Highly reccommend that.
Love your blog. I am so glad I am not the only one in the world with the same problems/feelings/worries/sense of humor/etc.