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I’ll Bend Over, You Spank Me
I am a bad bloggy mommy. I use you, abuse you and then leave without even a note or a couple of torn dollar bills placed casually on the bed table. Shame on me.
Have no fear. I have not developed a mysterious and deadly disease, rendering me helpless and too ill to fire up the ole computer. Nor has my trusty lifeline (also known as my Mac) deserted me and left me without any connection to my blogging world.
Nope.
The last post I wrote just really kicked my ass. Add to that, I have been pretending to be mom of the year at two different schools (Fric and Frac have been temporarily separated this year. I’m looking forward to reuniting them this September and having the same lunch and dismissal times once more.) I have been running my dimpled, pasty white ass off, all for the chance to eat boiled weiners and dixie cup ice cream with my kids and their classmates this week.
Life is short. Even more so after being a track meet mom and a mini games mom. (Who ever decided to put me in charge of the accuracy toss needs to be shot.)
I’m back now. I’ve got a new box of kleenex in case I get another round of my little-boy-Bug-blues again and I have a keyboard just dying to be abused.
But it will have to wait for tomorrow. Because today I am performing my final duties, pretending to be Mom of the Year one last time for the grade four kiddies. This time, I am ROASTING wieners over an open fire. Which means trying to keep the kids from falling into the open fire and preventing the boys from chasing the girls around with sharp pointy sticks.
I will be back tomorrow and ready to go once more. I’ve got an arsenal of wiener stories to share with you.
And not all of them are of the boiled wiener variety.
June 28th, 2007 at 7:16 am
I had wondered! I (and I’m sure everyone else) missed you terribly!
Can’t wait to hear from you tomorrow.
Julie
June 28th, 2007 at 7:34 am
Uh…did you say Mac? So you’re one of thooooose. That explains a lot.
June 28th, 2007 at 7:56 am
Huzzah for wieners!!
Enjoy time with your kids….
June 28th, 2007 at 8:49 am
Horray, T is going to tell weiner stories.
HOT DOG!
We’ll be waiting.
June 28th, 2007 at 9:38 am
glad to see you
June 28th, 2007 at 9:44 am
Ah fire and pointy sticks. You’re a brave woman.
June 28th, 2007 at 10:05 am
I am new to the blogging community and wanted to let you know your blogs has quickly become one of my favorites. I love the way you write, whether you are making me laugh or cry. I know it is difficult for you to write about Shalebug, but it is a blessing to me. Thank you for sharing.
June 28th, 2007 at 10:10 am
the graduation post would have kicked anyone’s ass. anytime you want help kicking some adoption asshat ass, you have only to ask. it’s frightening to know what you’re dealing with on that front. go, wonder mom, go!
June 28th, 2007 at 10:14 am
well hi!
enjoy your wiener duties.
June 28th, 2007 at 11:39 am
Welcome back - missed you!!
Yeah, your bug post was a doozy. You need to get it out.
Looking forward to weiner stories…
June 28th, 2007 at 11:40 am
PS - how’s Nixon (the world’s best dog.) doing?
June 28th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
I loves me some weiners! Nice to hear you’re ok…
June 28th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Ooooh, weiners! Love me some weiners.
I’m glad you’re back and okay. I understand about the ass kicking - it was that kind of post.
June 28th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
You are such a tease.
June 28th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
I was just about to e-mail you. I figured that last post may have explained why you weren’t feeling so chatty, so I was about to pester you with a friendly message.
Glad you are recovering from that particular low time. Get stuck into those weiners.
Hugs
from Jelly
June 28th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Welcome back!
And don’t forget the marshmallows for dessert!
June 28th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
I like the way you use me honey.
June 28th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
I am in a similar boat. Looking forward to your side of the story…
June 29th, 2007 at 4:21 am
Welcome back, we missed you! I hope this isn’t your last post… I keep picturing you down on the ground covered in weinies and half-melted marshmallows while rampaging boys poke your twitching body with pointy sticks…
My son is only two, I’m not ready yet for the kind of scenario you’re describing. Good luck!
June 29th, 2007 at 5:38 am
your last post kicked my ass, too.
enjoy your last duties as mom of the year, and watch those wienies.
June 29th, 2007 at 5:45 am
I miss you!
xoxo
June 29th, 2007 at 6:42 am
Heh, you said “weiner”. Heh.
June 29th, 2007 at 7:35 am
Ahhhh, your back! I check in faithfully each morning! Glad to know someone is Mother of the Year. I sent a bag of corn chips for the end of year stuff. So you’re making me look really bad here, lol. Bring on the weiners!
June 29th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Well the title of this post alone is such a delightful invitation. But now you are already off attending to other weiners….so I’ll eagerly await your stories.
June 29th, 2007 at 10:23 am
If I spank you, will your squirm and squeal like a little pig?
LOL
now thats an image from some dark corner.
I forget, school is in session in most other parts of the world. Here in Texas, we end school end of may, because, well, its always been done that way. But they start mid august, so it works out.
When i grew up in NY, yeah, we had school until mid june, graduation was third sunday in June.
So, weeners it is then.
Have a, oh yeah, you live in Canada, you dont have independence day.
June 29th, 2007 at 10:34 am
i was missin’ you, and wonderin’.
i shall now comfort myself with the prospect of weiner tales from T.
and a break? is a good thing. especially when your heart’s been all poured out and your ass is a bit kicked.
hope you’re good. happy long weekend. blow some kisses down my way.
June 29th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Glad to hear you’re alive-sheesh.
When do your kiddies get out of school for craps sake? It’s like the end of June!!! Mine have been out for a month now….yours don’t get much of a summer break do they? Poor children.
Okay, I’ll be back tomorrow and it better be good.
June 29th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
I feel your pain. Not the mom-of-the-year thing, but this has been a busy week. I was lucky to get a single post up…
Glad all is well.
June 29th, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Naughty girl. We just adopted a wiener dog, and I keep calling him “Wien”. My poor family has to keep correcting me–”It’s Murphy, Mom, NOT Wien!”. Still…he’s a boy. He has a wien. He looks like a wien…I’m just sayin’…
On another not-really-related-note: My now-nearly-11-year-old son had back yard camp outs for 3 years in a row for his b’day party. I just knew I’d be calling Johnny’s mom and telling her that, yes, it was all fun and games until somebody lost an eye…
Take care.
June 29th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
i was wondering about you. (i mean hell, i always wonder about you) take your time, we’ll be here.
June 30th, 2007 at 10:23 am
I like mine burnt … burnt hot dog and rare steak!
Have fun!
June 30th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
The graduation post kicked all our asses I think, so it beating you up and leaving you for dead would only make sense. I’ve been insane too, it’s that time of year.
So… who’s weiner are we talking about here?
June 30th, 2007 at 11:53 pm
Take all the time you need. No one’s going anywhere. I for one can’t wait to hear the non-food weiner type stories!