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The Sweet Tweets of Life
Growing up in the city, my parents allowed us to have a whole menagerie of pets to love. We had dogs (a lovely pair of basset hounds named Yardley and Bentley), cats (how I miss my Olly cat), fish (my goldfish lived for four years until my lovely dumbass brother fed him cornflakes), gerbils and a guinea pig named Beaver, a passel of rabbits and of course, birds. We had all of these animals at one time.
(I never realized how patient my mom really was until I just typed out the previous sentence. I would have lost my mind.)
Recently, I was sitting in my living room, listening to the soft snuffles of Nixon, the World’s Greatest Dog, Ever. softly snoring and I was struck with how quiet my house, and my life was. It never used to be this quiet. It was filled with the noise my youngest son would make when Fric and Frac were off at school.
The silence was deafening and it began to hurt my heart. I need noise to thrive. Must be my city roots where the whine of the sirens were like birds in the night.
So I got to thinking. What could I do to fill the noise? Sure, we’re trying to adopt a child, and hopefully he or she will be a noisy little bugger, but what if they aren’t? What then? What could I do to ensure my sanity? (What could I do to annoy my husband the most….?)
With the twittering of the birds in the background, it struck me. I’ll get a bird. I love birds. My grandparents gave me my first bird when I was ten. Not only will it fill my silent space, but it will teach my children another aspect of responsibility.
After researching every variety of bird available to man, I set off to find me a bird.
I came home with the sweetest pair of lovebirds a person ever did see. Keeping with the political theme I have going, I named one Abe (after Lincoln) and the other Lester (after Lester B. Pearson. He was a Prime Minister of Canada who won the Nobel Peace prize.)
Abe and Lester love me. They screech twitter whenever I walk towards their cage. And when I feed them, they flap around as if I’m a giant snake coming to swallow them perform acrobatics to impress me. Really, what more could I ask for?
And when they start chirping and screeching at 6 in the morning, I know it’s because they miss me so. I don’t care what my husband thinks, I know it’s not because they are freaking bird brains who don’t have the good sense to keep their beaks shut until a decent hour of the day.
My husband is suitably annoyed. And so is my dog, which I didn’t take into consideration. Apparently, he is mighty threatened by the presence of two little birdies in his home.
But I got my wish. My house is now filled with noise. The chatting screams of Abe and Lester echo through the halls. Generally followed with my dog barking his face off at them, my children whining about how noisy they are, and my husband standing in front of their cage bitching at them about how he has a B.B.gun and a pellet with their name on it.
It doesn’t get any noisier than this. (Yet another lesson to learn to be careful what you wish for…)
To celebrate my life filled with racket and din, I present to you this pun. It’s a cartoon that I swiped borrowed just for you. Enjoy!
July 1st, 2007 at 9:44 am
Ooooo lovebirds… the females get to be vicious little beasties when feelin pms’y. For how small they are they tend to act like birds of prey when they get territorial. I’ve had a few latch on and not let go before, gave me a whole new respect for something so small. Just perfect for you
If you got any questions about them, drop me an email, I’m a walking encyclopedia of useless information on birds.
The cartoon? Stinky cheese as always.
July 1st, 2007 at 12:31 pm
I accidentally shut my budgie’s head in his cage door when I was little and whaddayaknow? he wasn’t noisy after that…
July 1st, 2007 at 1:51 pm
You want to hear those birds even more? Bring home a cat…
We had a couple of parakeets for a very short time, and they shrieked in fear all freaking day long. They didn’t know the cat could not jump as high as their cage, they only knew she was watching. And drooling. We finally declared mercy on them and gave them to a catless friend.
I don’t know what we were thinking when we got them…
July 1st, 2007 at 2:22 pm
You should also get a grandfather clock that ticks, and perhaps satellite radio might be in order?
I love the quiet for a short time, but then I must have music….must…have…music.
July 1st, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Um, noise? I just turn on the television or the radio. Works for me.
But if you want more noise I’ll ship Lana, my black lab, up to you. She’s plenty noisy.
Congrats on your latest additions. I hope they bring you much joy and peace… um, I mean happiness.
July 1st, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Happy Canada Day, T!
July 1st, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Are they gay? I mean you named them Abe and Lester and they’re love birds??? That’ll be a great lesson for the kids. Gay love birds.
I love silence. I hate when there is a lot of noise…I hate to hear the TV before 8pm and after 11pm.
I enjoy the silence.
July 1st, 2007 at 3:58 pm
I hate silence in my house too. I usually turn on the TV but I also found that I don’t notice the quiet so much anymore now that I work all day outside the home. Not a step I would suggest, your solution was probably more fun! We all do what we have to do. Congrats on your new additions and I hope you get a new kid soon to make it even noisier!
July 1st, 2007 at 5:25 pm
I plug in my ipod and rock it out. I wouldn’t have thought of birds. However, I’m dying for a peek, post a picture of your new lovlies.
July 1st, 2007 at 6:33 pm
I love silence. No friggin idea why I had kids.
July 1st, 2007 at 9:08 pm
See, now I would love a little quiet. I’m not sure I remember what that is. What does it sound like? Can you hum a few bars?
July 2nd, 2007 at 12:44 am
lol, we have seven rabbits (there used to be one more and two guinea pigs) one chinchilla, four goldfish, 3 chickens and one new puppy as of yesterday! People thinkI’m mad but it sounds funny but its not that much work, you just use alot of newspaper, create a lot of compost and mop the floor a lot!
(picture of new pup on my blog x)
July 2nd, 2007 at 7:50 am
Dog, Cat, Rat, fish, Rabbit and a 12 Foot long Burmese Python…all in a second story two bedroom condo.. at once. The Cat and the Rabbit shared a litter box and at night the Rabbit slept with the Rat. This group has been selectively weaned and now we only have a dog LOL
July 2nd, 2007 at 9:36 am
I used to have 2 lovebirds too and yes, they’re noisy! They didn’t live too long for some reason (3 or 4 years) so now I have two cockatiels. The cockatiels are even louder and more obnoxious, but I love them so
July 2nd, 2007 at 7:35 pm
Well, you certainly chose the right kind of bird seeing as how you wanted noise *insert devilish grin*.
And there is always the comfort of knowing that even 14 parakeets aren’t as noisy as ONE lovebird. (don’t ask me how I know)
July 2nd, 2007 at 7:41 pm
the snake part made me snort my wine out my nose.
sigh.
and now I have to lick it off my keyboard.