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Wife’s Night Off
Boo, wandering in after spending the last few hours building us a pool deck, “What’s for supper, woman. I’m starving.”
Me, after spending the last few hours surfing the net and watching my husband break his back for a deck I wanted, “Nothing.”
“What do you mean nothing? I’m hot, hungry and dammit woman, it’s your job to feed me. Not to mention, our kids might need to eat.”
“I’m taking the night off. I’m tired of cooking. Order a pizza and drive to town to get it. That’s as good as I can give you.”
“Well you go pick it up at least, since you aren’t cooking.”
“Nah. I’ve already been to town twice today because of swim camp and the kids. You want to eat, you pick it up.”
“Aren’t you a peach.”
“Why thank you. You’re more of a pear…Kinda woody.”
“Cute. I’m leaving. Order the pizza now so it will be ready by the time I get there.”
“Nah. I ordered last time. It’s your turn to order.”
He’s getting a little pissed with me by now. And I can’t seem to stop myself. He he.
Aggravated he responds, “FINE! I’m sorry I didn’t notice that piano tied to your ass. My mistake. What kind of pizza do you want me to order, drive in, pick up, pay for, slice and hand feed you?”
“Hmmm, vegetarian.”
“What? No salami?”
“Nah, I’ve had salami every night this week and I’m getting tired of tubed meat. At this rate I may get scurvy.
“You know, I hear a little salami goes a long way. And it’ll cure what ever ails you.”
“No thanks. Just good ole fashioned veggies. Oh, and can you buy some Coke too?”
“Cock? Sure, I’ve got some.”
“No. COKE. I want it fizzy not fuzzy.”
“I’ll make it any way you want it baby,” as he wiggles his eyebrows.
“If you can make it brown, syrupy and fizzy, I’ll be your soda jerk and drink from your fountain of love, darling. Now go bring me some pizza. I’m hungry.”
“Remind me again why I married you?” He murmurs as he walks out the door.
“Because you knocked me up!! Don’t forget the napkins.” I yell out after him.
It doesn’t get any sweeter than this, does it?
August 14th, 2007 at 8:05 am
Love it!
August 14th, 2007 at 8:25 am
You two, always with the comedy.
Snort.
August 14th, 2007 at 8:27 am
romance. pure and utter romance.
August 14th, 2007 at 8:29 am
He’s a lucky, lucky man.
August 14th, 2007 at 8:39 am
tee hee…sounds like the kind of conversation I’d have with my hubby. I love it!
August 14th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Ahhh, you’re as sweet to your hubby as I am to mine!
I can’t figure out why he feels so abused…..
August 14th, 2007 at 9:04 am
You can just feel the love seeping through the ether, alright.
We all need our princess moments, though, don’t we?
August 14th, 2007 at 9:21 am
I can feel the love oozing from my screen!
Totally sounds like a conversation Mike and I would have, ‘cept Boo takes your shit better then Mike takes mine.
August 14th, 2007 at 9:23 am
ah sweet love, brings a tear to my eye.
August 14th, 2007 at 9:37 am
Ahhhhh, T…..you crack me up. I love your response to his “Why did I marry you again?”……”You knocked me up!”.
Boo is such a sweetie…….
August 14th, 2007 at 9:46 am
No wonder I like you so well. Sounds like a conversation at my house.
August 14th, 2007 at 10:14 am
You had me at:
“I’m taking the night off. I’m tired of cooking. Order a pizza and drive to town to get it. That’s as good as I can give you.”
lol
August 14th, 2007 at 10:41 am
You make me laugh.
August 14th, 2007 at 10:49 am
You guys are the new Ozzie and Harriet. Or maybe Ozzy and Sharon?
August 14th, 2007 at 11:54 am
Ha! ““You know, I hear a little salami goes a long way. And it’ll cure what ever ails you.” - sounds just like Mr Earth.
August 14th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Who says love fades in marriage?
My husband would have preferred to get pizza versus my cooking.
August 14th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Someone needs to put some TV cameras in your house. It would be so much better than the shitty shows that are supposed to be funny.
August 14th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Holy crap…I think you’ve channeled my husband and I…that describes sooooooo many scenes at my house!
August 14th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Sometimes I wonder why they even ask . . . you know, because they have all the answers and everything!
This sooooo sounds like my house, it’s scary.
August 14th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
awww..true love at it’s finest. ha!
August 14th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
I want to marry you.
Bad.
August 14th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Ha. Funny!!
August 14th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
“If you can make it brown, syrupy and fizzy, I’ll be your soda jerk and drink from your fountain of love, darling. Now go bring me some pizza. I’m hungry.” …..cant…..stop….laughing….
August 14th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
You brought me out of lurking with this. Just polished off a nice red and am howling at the moon, woman yer the bomb!
August 14th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Snort!!
You guys kill me but what makes me laugh harder is I have had similar conversations with WB. I figure his future wife is going to love how well he’s trained
August 14th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Bwahahaha..Love it!!!!
August 14th, 2007 at 8:02 pm
Button pushing is a sign of deep deep love.
August 15th, 2007 at 4:24 am
That is so sweet.
August 15th, 2007 at 6:04 am
LOL. How do you get away with this? I need lessons!
August 15th, 2007 at 7:35 am
I just snorted coffee all over my phone set during a very important (you believe that right?) conference call.
Thanks for that
August 15th, 2007 at 8:18 am
Well, it sounds like true love to me! I have a secret stash of frozen leftovers I feed the BF when these types of demands are made…..
August 15th, 2007 at 8:21 am
Seriously this is like at least a weekly conversation at my house. I hereby request that we be friends forever because clearly we think alike
August 15th, 2007 at 9:35 am
You and I went to the same “wife school”
August 15th, 2007 at 9:55 am
A piano strapped to your ass?
That’s a good one. *snort*
August 15th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
And they say romance is dead. Get off the honeymoon already.
August 15th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
The love. There it is.
August 15th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
Ah! True love. So sweet.
LoL
August 16th, 2007 at 7:27 am
I wish my family was this fruity.
August 16th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Okay, I had the gigglefits with this one! I don’t like cooking or going to get anything after a hard day of surfing the blogs, either!