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Frac
Ten years ago today, in the minutes it will take me to type this, I was travelling in a rusted out red car, on my way to the hospital. I was two weeks past my due date, big as a whale and the world’s crankiest bitch bloated, swollen and stretched, pregnant chick.
I was 21 and even though I had already given birth thirteen months prior to my daughter, I had no idea how my life was about to change.
For the better.
(At least that is what I told myself for the next two years of sleepless nights and blurred days as I chased after two babies only months apart.)
I’ll admit, your conception wasn’t planned. Your sister was only four months old and we were still struggling with breast feeding when I found out about your existence. I’ll admit, I may have hurled the pregnancy test stick, with it’s positive sign mocking me, at your father’s head when he walked through the door from work that night.
I’ll admit, you were a gift I hadn’t planned on receiving. (I mean, who the hell has sex when they have a new born baby? I suppose the fact I had no recollection of conceiving you means nothing as I ultimately had to squeeze you out of my uterus regardless of whether your conception was so absolutely unremarkable that I have no memory of it.) But you were a gift none the less. It didn’t take long for me to adjust my attitude and welcome your existence.
Especially since you were a joyful pregnancy (I only passed out in public once!) and joy-filled baby. (Oh, the joy I felt when you popped your first tooth, clamped down on my nipple, pulled it tight and shook it like you were a dog with a bone. Such bliss.)
You’ve made my life easier in countless ways, as a free and unlimited source of slave labour great helper with the family chores, everything from dish duty to wood gathering.
You’ve kept me fed on more than one occasion. (Yum, peanut butter toast. Thanks, Frac.) You’ve even learned how to brew coffee for your mama thereby ensuring your survival during the early morning hours of war.
You’ve made me smile and laugh through the years. Just know I laugh with you and never at you. (Wink, wink.)
You remind me on a daily basis there is more to life than sadness and suffering, more than grief and anguish. There is music to be enjoyed, comedy to laugh at, and drama to get my blood pumping.
You are growing up to be a strong, resourceful young man. Of course, that may have something to do with the fact you are being raised by a pack of feminine hyenas with very little testosterone to intercede on your behalf. Your father and I (but mostly your father) are sorry for that.
I promise I will work harder at tormenting you with my estrogen loving ways forming you into a macho, manly reincarnation of your daddy. You don’t have far to go, after all. You are a spitting image of him. And from what I hear, he cried a lot on the playground. It shouldn’t be hard to out-macho that.
Happy tenth birthday Frac. May this year be your best yet. You deserve it.
Plus, I need the blog fodder.
October 16th, 2007 at 8:05 am
*happy birthday, mr. frac*
October 16th, 2007 at 8:15 am
Whooooo boy. I can’t wait until one of mine is old enough, either chronologically or developmentally, to make me coffee. Because y’know, I love my kids and celebrate their achievements regardless. What a good boy, indeed. The poor little bugger (I’m still laughing about that kazoo incident). Happy birthday, Frac!
October 16th, 2007 at 8:21 am
Happy Birthday!!
October 16th, 2007 at 8:28 am
Happy birthday Frac!
Love the carafe replacement T!
October 16th, 2007 at 8:29 am
Happy Birthday to Frac!!
October 16th, 2007 at 8:52 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRAC
LOTS OF LOVE AND WE WILL TALK WITH YOU LATER
LOVE, AUNTIE FREAKIN MARTHA STEWART & UNCLE THE GREAT WHITE HUNTER AND FAMILY
October 16th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Happy Birthday Frac!
I’ve missed you T….while on vacation. I’ve enjoyed reading your past posts from last week!
Take care.
Julie
October 16th, 2007 at 8:55 am
Happy Birthday Frac!! Now come down thia way and show my 10 year old some new tricks.. like makin Mamas morning coffee. Hopefully this year will be your most fun and annoying year for you yet, and I mean annoying your Mama. Hope you have a great day!
October 16th, 2007 at 9:07 am
Happy birthday to Frac! May he find many new and ridiculous schemes to keep mommy hopping and provide humorous reading material for us all!
October 16th, 2007 at 9:09 am
Happy, Happy Birthday, Frac!
October 16th, 2007 at 9:14 am
Happy birthday to sweet Frac!
October 16th, 2007 at 9:19 am
Awwww ….
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRAC!
October 16th, 2007 at 9:23 am
Happy Birthday, Frac. Even though they outnumber you, dont let the ladies of the house get the better of you. Show your mom how well she’s forming you into a macho, manly reincarnation of your daddy.
October 16th, 2007 at 9:41 am
Happy 10th Birthday Frac!
And we should form a yahoo support group for mothers with children less than 24 months apart. LOL
October 16th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Happy Birthday, Frac!!! Give your mom a run for her money. Literally, you deserve something for you life with her. LOL!!!
October 16th, 2007 at 9:48 am
Happy Birthday, Frac! And October is the BEST month for birthdays.
Um, RM? This: “I mean, who the hell has sex when they have a new born baby?” Yeah, um…. My kids are 15 months apart. We should be white trash neighbors. I knew I loved you for a reason.
October 16th, 2007 at 10:24 am
Happy birthday, Frac!!! Double digits, you’ve hit the big time!
T, he looks just like you (except, only manly?) in that photo making coffee.
October 16th, 2007 at 10:27 am
Happy Birthday Frac!
October 16th, 2007 at 10:28 am
Happy Birthday Frac! May you neve realize that your mother will love you just as much even if you stop making her coffee. (that’s YOUR birthday present, T!)
October 16th, 2007 at 10:47 am
Happy Birthday, Frac. Thanks for making your Momma laugh and giving her things to write about.
October 16th, 2007 at 11:22 am
Hey, RM! Ben turned ten this past Friday! They are FOUR DAYS APART!
Happy Birthday, Frac.
October 16th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Happy birthday Frac! Give your momma a kiss for teaching you the always valuable skill of making a good cuppa.
BTW, T, that’s the same coffeemaker I had for three glorious weeks before a power surge during a lightning storm killed it dead. Isn’t it wonderful?
October 16th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Happy 10th Birthday Frac!!!!
October 16th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
Happy 10th Frac.
October 16th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Another October 16th birthday boy! I have one too. Happy Birthday Frac.
October 16th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
He makes your coffee?!? Keep that boy around.
(Happy birthday, barista boy!)
October 16th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
hey RM, when you’re done with him, send him over here. I need a good slave.
happy birthday frac!
October 16th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
HBD, Frac! And t., our family will be thinking of yours tomorrow. I hope and pray everything goes perfect.
October 16th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Nothing like mother-love on your birthday. Hope he had a great one!
October 16th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Happy birthday to Frac! It sounds like he is surviving the torment of his mother and older sister quite well…
October 16th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Happy Birthday Frac and to you too!
October 16th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
This has to be the most beautiful tribute to a child ever that includes an anecdote about flinging a pregnancy stick at the father’s head.
October 16th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
So true - Happy Birthday to the wonderful Frac!
October 17th, 2007 at 4:58 am
Happy birthday to your wonderful kid
October 17th, 2007 at 5:32 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRAC!!! Man, I love stories about Fric and Frac.
And mine are 362 days apart. That’s right. On November 15th my five year old will turn six and on November 18th my six year old will be seven.
I remember the youngest’s conception because it was this ONE TIME between a surgery I had after the blasting out the first one and the appointment where the doctor put me on birth control.
I cried when I saw the pregnancy test. The Redneck’s response? “In the words of Mike Tyson, honey, “We ecstatic”.
The youngest is my buddy, my clown, my chuckle when I need it most. Those unplanned kids are the best kind I think.
October 17th, 2007 at 6:51 am
Happy birthday to you Frac.
I literally laughed my butt off at the measuring cup to replace your broken carafe.
As far as the metal and electric, P-leaze, how else to you get a bagel out of the toaster?
October 17th, 2007 at 6:55 am
happy belated bday to Frac…who is clearly sweet, what with the coffee-making and all.
and i know it’s barely a civilized hour there, but just saying i’m thinking about you guys today, waiting for news, hoping for celebrations.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Holy Cow! I was a bit busy yesterday to read anyone else’s posts, so I missed out on this until now…
The reason I was busy was because my son’s birthday was yesterday!
How neato-riffic. Happy (late) Birthday to your cute guy!
(And thanks for visiting my site recently and commenting. That was swell!)
October 17th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Wow! I too have an October 16th boy too! Mine’s 7. We should start a club!