There are many things I love about the season of Christmas. The food, the company and all the sparkly decorations strewn about. I can over look the massive consumerism and commercialization of a holy event and even the hordes of cranky shoppers, because I see the magic of this time of year.
What I hate about Christmas is the fact my children expect me to have a personality transplant and morph into Ms. Molly Homemaker. A woman who suddenly wears an apron and pulls freshly baked edible goodies out of the oven while wearing a smile.
Apparently it isn’t quite as festive if you are cursing about not watching the time while the smoke detector is screaming and a haze of acrid smoke wafts through the air.
But I love my kids, and I wanted them to have some sort of home-making type of memory with me. (This way when they are deciding to whether to place me in the fancy, licensed seniors home or the shady, back alley discount one, I can play the home making mother card.) So I bought a gingerbread house package. It may not be actually baking, but I’m in the kitchen and food products are involved. Good enough.
It started off well enough. We were all having fun, listening to some carols and munching on the candy. Then disaster struck.
The facking roof fell in. All by itself. I swear, I wasn’t touching it. I wasn’t even looking at it. I was too busy shoving licorice up my nose and pretending to be a walrus. Yet in it went. And it couldn’t just collapse. No, it had to break. Into three pieces.
Why the manufacturers don’t send replacement parts in those damn kits, is a freaking mystery.
Just when I was ready to cry and call it quits, my darling husband stepped in and put on his hard hat.
A hero was born that moment. At least in my eyes. There was still a chance I could pull this off and have one Martha Stewart-y type memory to wave in front of my children when they’re older.
A little bit of sugary goodness, some cleverness from a cute man, a lot of cheerleading from Fric and Frac and me in the back ground still stuffing candy into my nose while keeping a safe distance from the highly breakable cookie house, and viola! Problem solved.
Turned out pretty nice, if I say so myself.
It was a Christmas miracle.
From my family to yours, Merry Christmas everyone!
31 Comments
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Ho Ho Ho
Merry Christmas!!! from my house to yours. May this year be filled with all the miracles you can handle
Awesome. Just don’t show my kids OK? Cause I told them that it is illegal to make that shit at home. OH&S and union rules you see.
So did you tackle the kids to the ground and make ‘em eat the walrus licorice when you finished with it? Cause that is the best part of Christmas. Makes those special family traditions that can pass down the generations.
Have a wonderful Christmas! From the land where Ho Ho Ho is considered an insult.
He’s a keeper!
Happy holidays!
xoxo Julie
Your breasts look magnificent in that sweater!
Merry Christmas T, Boo, Fric, and Frac from the rednecks in the Carolinas. Also Boo is invited anytime to help me replace some siding, gutters, and a few windows. I suck at construction so that gingerbread house would look like something a homeless person had slept under.
You pulled off the elusive Christmas miracle. You rock.
(And you look so cute. That counts.)
Merry merry to the whole crew.
Lovely house!! Can I, erm, eat it?? Happy Holidays!
Merry Christmas, beautiful.
now seeing your face is MY holiday cheer. next time in 3-D, please.
That does it, you win. Your house, with the broken roof, turned out better than any house we have ever done.
I am off to hide in a corner and drown my sorrows. A Redneck Mommy was able to pull off the perfect Gingerbread house. The shock is just too. much.
Merry Christmas. Your comments were closed on Rosie (I am sure for good reason)
Syrian Hamsters are loners and will kill their cage mates from time to time. (more often then not) Rest in Peace little rodent.
http://www.webcom.com/lstead/rodents/hamsters.html
Way to go Boo! It looks great! Job well done by all! Merry Christmas to all of you!
i think it’s PERFECT!
Last picture, Nice Rack!
OK, its AFTER Christmas, and I am sure that the fat guy wont remember this transgression when he makes his list. I mean, I am in the grace period arent I?
You have to use a toothpick to hold the two tops from slipping down when you make the roof up.
Of course, if you forget to remove them and the kids bite down and impail the roof of their mouths with the things, then you can forgetaboutit as far as getting a NICE retirement home. Then its “hey mom, we are heading up to Moosebutt Lake in the north of this frozen tundra we call Canada to drop you off in the forest, i mean the retirement home with a scenic view of the lake. Never mind that taking into account the lake is frozen 10 months of the year, we hear that the northern lights are great year round.
again, nice rack!
LOL
Ok, I’m so laughing at the “nice rack” comments above. But I guess I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice them too . HaHa.
That’s just me being jealous.
Hope you and your family had a wonderful Christmas!
That is so cute…this is the first year we’ve done one without me and the kids yelling at each other…maybe because the frosting packet thing came with the house instead of me having to mix it. My favorite year was when our dog ate the house when we weren’t home. We had to make another one. Talk about hell!
The house is great.
You are adorable.
But I wanted to see you with that licorice up your nose, dude.
When that happens, I just say there was an earthquake in Gingerbread House Land! LOL!
Hope yours was very merry!
yay for daddy!
we use licorice sticks as straws, in my house. therefore, sticking licorice up noses…wouldn’t work if we have to put our mouths on it!
Hallelujah!!!!
Hope your Christmas was fabulous. That Gingerbread house looks AWESOME.
Almost makes me want to try one.
Almost.
I am so frickin’ frackin’ turned on right now.
I could just lick the chemically laden frosting off your sweet face.
Hope you had a lovely Christmas T:)!!
Nice rack, babe.
Hope your Christmas was as good as a double quarter pounder.
Merry Christmas sweetie!!!
(you’re looking vedy vedy sexy too, btw :D)
I often wish I could smear white frosting over my bad parts and have it look that good at the end!
*sigh*
I hope your Christmas was very, very, merry.
Merry Belated Christmas! I love your glasses, by the way.
Your gingerbread house looks fabulous. I let my 2 and 5-year-old make ours and it is a little sad.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamie_r/2112679883/in/photostream/
I totally thought “earthquake” when I saw the cracked gingerbread roof. How cool that your hubby fixed it and you guys could continue as planned. It turned out awesome!
And holy shit, next year I’m asking Santa for your boobs. Wait, lemme rephrase that… ;^)
I was all yours BEFORE this post, but now your made gingerbread house skillz and your awesome boobs just made me your slave forever.
How the frick did your house turn out so well?
Oh yeah, you made it. Have you seen mine? On my blog? It’s an abomination.
Damn Walmart and its stupid gingerbread kits making me feel all superior in my skillz, only to BAM fall apart and make me look like a dumb-ass.