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Saying Goodbye
Today I’m burying my friend.
Well, okay. I’m not actually burying her. It’s not like I’m going to take a shovel and start digging. Let’s face it. I’m too lazy for that, no matter how much I loved Loreen.
But I will be there to say my final goodbyes to a well-respected and beloved friend. Who also happens to be a member of my family. She was my husband’s aunt.
She was my friend.
I shall miss her.
So today I will put on my dress slacks and a pretty top and slap on a smile, no matter how sad I feel on the inside because Loreen’s life deserved as many smiles as I can muster.
And when I walk into the same cemetery that my son currently rests in, I will not think about the sadness of the day or how I will never be able to laugh with my friend again or how the last time I stood on that hallowed ground I had wished for the world to end.
I will not think of past pain or future heart break.
I will not think of lives cut short.
Instead, I will look around and see all the love that surrounds me and take comfort in the knowing that my Bug has a new friend to play with and love him while he waits for us. For me.
I will find amazement in how life goes on and how a life well lived can bring comfort and joy to those left behind.
I will honor my friend with my smiles. And maybe a lame joke or two.
Because I know she will appreciate it.
I’ll be back soon.
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:50 am
I’m sorry for your loss…
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:00 am
hey - sorry, think along those lines though it will bring you through. lots of love to you and your family
Ellie xxxx
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:07 am
Blessings are being sent your way via my prayers. SG
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:09 am
My condolences to you and your family. Your strength and grace in the face of these things is impressive.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:11 am
So sorry about Loreen. Lots of love and ((hugs)) on this difficult day. She will be looking down on you, holding your Bug, and they will be smiling at you. I lost my mum 7 years ago today, so I know your pain. We must endure so that we can be reunited again one day. So give Loreen your best smiles, she deserves them!
kat
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:12 am
Oh sweets! It just doesn’t seem fair, but I adore your approach.
Thinking of you today.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:13 am
I’m sorry for your loss. Sometimes the celebration of the life and memories gives us strength to move through the day into the tomorrows.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:15 am
I’m truly sorry for your loss. Prayers, thoughts and well wishes for you and your family.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:54 am
I’ll be praying for your family today. I can relate, just Monday we said goodbye to my bestfriends 3 month old son. it hurts so bad….
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:07 am
Tanis - love you. Big hugs. Take care of yourself.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:10 am
beautifully said.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:19 am
“I will find amazement in how life goes on…”
And thanks to you, I have found it amazing as well, thanks.
Say hi to Bug for me.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:20 am
Oh, sweetie. Hugs - which I promise to deliver in real life next week.
It’s tough, it hurts, but you are one hella stron gwoman, and I know you’ll put on teh brave face for her.
I have to say, I do love the idea of a wake for this reason - to celebrate the person that was, as they would want to be celebrated. I bet you’d know exactly what she’d liek to see.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:24 am
So very sorry for your loss(es). There are no words, but cyber hugs abound. I know how it feels to stand over your son’s grave. Painful… my heart goes out to you.
Be strong. Life is a miracle.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:27 am
That’s a star attitude you have there.
Take care you
Cheers
BC
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:38 am
You are in my thoughts today, chica ~ xo
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:21 am
Be well Tanis. Hugs.
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:49 am
So sorry for your loss. I think she would love this tribute. Hope she loves your jokes today.
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:57 am
Hugs, friend.
I love you buckets and buckets full.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Really, really wanting to hug you and glad I’ll be able to do that soon. Your strength is inspirational.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:11 pm
So sorry for your loss, thoughts from here are with you.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Loreen and Bug are having a great time together! Great job remembering that.
Big love to you. I love your outlook and your strength.
sending you love & bottles of wine, alli
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Your strength and insight is so amazing and inspiring. Of course Bug and Loreen are together hanging out. Hope you get through the day okay. Please take care.
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
alav ha shalom. may your loved ones rest in peace. and get into all kinds of trouble together, holding hands.
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Oh T, you are amazing with that humour and strength you wield - really amazing. Loreen and Bug are totally keeping company and having the place in constant smiles and laughter.
xoxo and real ones next week.
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Oh sweetie.
*sighs*
I’m so fucking sorry for your loss.
April 2nd, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Hugs sweetie! Hope all goes well for you today!
April 2nd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
{{{{hugs}}}}
April 2nd, 2008 at 4:07 pm
My condolences.
April 2nd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
I always “lurk”….tonite I have to say you rock…. I love reading your blog….Joanie
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:13 pm
(((Hugs))). I’m so sorry for your loss.
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:15 pm
((Hugs)) I had a very difficult time when we buried my grandfather in a plot that was supposed to be near my brother…actually it was more like a black comedy because I couldn’t find my brother’s grave marker and I started hyperventilating thinking that someone had stolen it, and the funeral home guy finally told me that the green astroturf carpety thing was covering it. Grief makes it hard to think sensibly.
Do something nice for yourself tonight. And hug Fric & Frac extra tight.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Oh my…I don’t know what words to say that will make this day any less painful on you but I wish I knew of some. You seem to be taking it the best way possible and I envy your strength….you amaze me on many levels but your ability to try and make something like this as positive as possible rather then as miserable is truly something. xoxoxo
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:28 pm
My condolences - your strength is inspiring.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:31 pm
I’m so sorry, Tanis. Take care of yourself. xoxo
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:01 pm
You’re always an inspiration. How’d you get such a great head on those shoulders?
Just dropped some peace and love in the thoughts mail. Hope you get it soon.
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:20 pm
oh honey.
lately you know, something is different in your writing. a shift. it’s subtle. it’s real. i can’t wait to find out more in july.
April 3rd, 2008 at 6:57 am
Peace to you and your family, my friend.
April 3rd, 2008 at 7:51 am
well Tanfunerals are so sad but try and celebrate a life that i hope was happy and well lived
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:29 am
Thinking of you –
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:04 pm
*sending a big hug your way*
April 3rd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
I wish you and your family all the best. I know it’s never easy.
April 4th, 2008 at 1:37 am
What a wonderful outlook. Here’s to happy memories!
April 4th, 2008 at 7:57 am
Thinking of you, T.
xo,
J
April 4th, 2008 at 8:31 am
So sorry about your dear friend.
Did you go to Bug’s grave? I hope it made you feel closer to him, though I’m sure it tore your heart apart.
Today is a hard day for me, too. My babies would have been 6 months old today. How do you handle birthdays? How can your heart break even more than it already has?
April 4th, 2008 at 11:58 am
my condolences.
April 4th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
My deepest sympathies..
April 4th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Sorry about Loreen. Best wishes today.
April 4th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
For lack of better words, You rock T!
April 5th, 2008 at 6:12 am
Smiles are the best tribute one can give a friend. I’m so sorry T, I’m thinking about you.
April 5th, 2008 at 7:35 am
Hey love, so so so sorry about your loss. Looking forward to giving you a hug and helping with a few of those smiles soon. xo
April 5th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I’m so sorry life seems to be filled with so much hurt. Sometimes there is nothing to say, we can only pray for your strength and that God will get you threw this.
My prayers an thoughts are with you today.
Hugs
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram
www.grammology.com
April 5th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
I will find amazement in how life goes on and how a life well lived can bring comfort and joy to those left behind. — my favorite part. This was always the hardest part for me to come to grips with, after the death of my Mom.
God bless, and enjoy the warmth of the love you share.
April 6th, 2008 at 5:50 am
Heartfelt, sad, sassy, funny, brave… and very, very talented with your words. Hope today was in some way therapeautic for your poor battered heart. Hugs and thanks for the smiles through the grief. I feel ya.
BB
April 6th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I am so deeply sorry for both of your losses. I’m not very good with saying the right thing in these situations…usually I say the wrong thing but I do have to say I admire your positive thoughts in a heartbreaking time. That’s something I can certainly relate to. Sometimes I think that if we don’t find the positive to cling to we’ll get swallowed up in despair. I’d rather not travel down that road.
**hugs**
April 7th, 2008 at 9:32 am
Sorry for your loss. I love your outlook though. It is so hard to be positive when your heart is breaking.
April 7th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
XOXOXOXOXO.
and then some.