Subscribe in a Reader
The Truck Got Stuck
I’m not a girly girl. Or at least I never used to be. I was once the very definition of a tom boy. Climbing trees and playing football in the mud was more my style.
Then suddenly I grew up, had babies and found more appropriate ways to spend my time than rolling around in the mud.
It didn’t help that my best friends happen to be the very definition of girly girls. Heck, the DragonLady can’t leave the house with out her socks matching her shirt, her necklace matching her earrings and her pedicure setting off her lipstick.
I don’t even clip my damn toenails. Heh. And the only necklaces I have are the medals I won in my track and field glory days.
My idea of being a frilly girl is wearing a shirt that nicely promotes my feminine rack. I find it helps distract people from noticing the lack of makeup and the freakishly hairy legs I have.
To this day, I still prefer playing in the dirt to having to doll up and pretend I’m a woman.
Yet slowly over the years, I’ve buried my dirty girl side a little deeper and started to embrace my inner woman. I can gussy up with the best of them and not feel so socially awkward anymore.
But I find I’m taking out the garbage less and less and passing that on to Frac and my husband. Same goes with digging flower beds or hauling wood.
It’s not so much that I’m scared I’m going to break a nail (heck, I cut them all to the quick anyways) but more that I am fundamentally lazy. Why do something that involves back breaking labour when I can get a boy to do it?
It’s just common sense, people.
Still, I worry about the example I am setting for my kids. I want my kids to know I can do anything from cleaning out a freezer of rotten meat to fixing the plugged toilet and everything that falls in between.
Which is why I was annoyed with myself. After weeks of staring at my new shiny rusty truck sitting in my driveway I realized I hadn’t gone near it since my husband tossed the keys in my lap and drove off.
That truck scared me. I was afraid of getting stuck or having oh, the axels fall out, while I was driving it.
Which as my friends pointed out, is ridiculous because just last Wednesday I got stuck in a muddy ditch with my car and managed to get unstuck all on my own. (So I may need a new transmission. Big deal.)
I was avoiding the truck. I needed to conquer my fears and stop thinking like a priss and just drive the damn thing.
So I did. Sure I kinda bunny hopped it for a few clicks until I got the feel of it, but before long Bertha and I were fast friends. My husband was right. She did run like a dream.
I got so excited about my new scary truck driving abilities that I decided to head over to the DragonLady’s place and show off my driving prowess. As she saw me bounce that rig up her bumpy drive way she told the hubs to look after the kids and than ran out to greet me.
Turns out Bertha likes to go 4×4′ing. Turns out the Dragon Lady just happens to own a large amount of land conducive to letting Bertha’s bitchiness loose.
Picture two stay at home moms war whooping and laughing as we bounced about and sprayed dirt through the fields.
Turns out, I should really be a monster truck driver. It would seem I’ve got an affinity for it. Heh.
Or at least that is what I thought until I decided to pin it through a rather wet looking bog. And sank my Bertha up to her axels.
Shit.
After getting out to push while the DragonLady pinned it, I decided we were good and stuck. Plus, I was eating mud. Literally. So we trudged back to the yard to go pick up the DragonLady’s truck. A big ole Dodge with a handy winch.
One way or another this truck was coming home with me. Even if I had to dismantle it piece by piece.
As we walked into the yard her husband saw that we were without wheels and that I looked like I had just taken a mud bath.
“Where’s the truck?” he snickered.
“Out back. It needed a rest. We thought we would bring out a buddy to keep it company,” the DragonLady evaded while climbing into her truck.
“You got her stuck, didn’t you?” Like he has never got a truck stuck before. Harumph.
“No,” the DragonLady replied very haughty like, while I did my best to wipe my glasses clean.
“I’m telling Boo,” he laughed. “Do you need a hand?” Because you know, we’re just girls.
“Thanks Cowboy, but I’ve got this covered. You just be a good boy and take care of your kidlets. I think I hear one of them screaming right now,” I may have replied snottily as I jumped into the cab.
If Boo caught wind of this my ass was grass. I would never live it down. I needed to get this truck unstuck so I could resume to more ladylike pasttimes such as knitting and ironing.
So we bounced out to where my lovely truck was sitting in the mud, looking dirty and forlorn and we hitched up the winch and let it rip.
Finally, after about 45 minutes of gentle lady like cursing and the smell of burnt rubber in the air, Bertha was freed from her muddy prison with a great sucking sound.
The DragonLady and I got out of our respective vehicles, which were now so muddy you couldn’t see what colour they were painted, and high fived each other.
“Who needs a man?” we giggled.
“Race you back to the house,” I called as I jumped into my ratty truck.
So I’m not scared of my truck anymore.
And while the men folk are slightly miffed that we played in the mud without them, they are willing to overlook the fact that for an afternoon, my girlfriend and I were decidedly unladylike.
As it turns out, there is nothing sexier than two women wrestling in the mud.
Boys.
Me, I’ve got to remember to be less ladylike more often. Because damn was that fun.
Except for the part where I cracked my head against the roof of the truck as I flew over a small hill.
Next time as I get my tomboy boots on, I’ll remember to buckle up.
***I dedicate this post to my darling Boo who turns 33 today. May you have a great birthday love. I promise to give you a good er, ride when you get home. I’m just not saying what type of ride. Wink, wink.***
April 17th, 2008 at 8:38 am
I think M*nsanto will hunt those good ole boys down quicker than Agriculture Canada will. And, if their track record is anything to go by, they’ll sue. Litigious genetic modifying turds.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:41 am
I can gussy up with the best of them, but gosh darn it! That sounds like a GREAT time!
Note to self, call ex and have him take me ‘boggin…
April 17th, 2008 at 8:45 am
This one had it all! Trucks! Winches! Mud-wrestling! Bogs! Pedicures! Innuendos! A very straightforward and descriptive title!
Now I miss those ATV days when we would sink our rides along flooded high grass trails. And then go milk cows and bale hay.
What? Oh…right…I went through a redneck phase.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:28 am
well, crack-a-lack jack! FUN!
April 17th, 2008 at 9:31 am
All the while I was reading this I was trying to decide which Corb Lund lyric I would use as my comment and then you go and pre-empt me by putting in a YouTube link. Mighty neighbourly. Miiighty neigbourly.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:58 am
That sounds like a hoot ‘n a half! I bet the guys secretly LOVE the fact they have wives who’ll “ahem” ride like that.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:05 am
That sounds like a blast! But yeah, my cautious side went all, “WHAT?! You didn’t have your seatbelt on? Are you crazy?” I’m all for fun, but I like you, okay?
April 17th, 2008 at 10:18 am
I’m so jealous! I want to play in the mud. Just think, if Boo had gone out and spent 50 grand on a SHINY NEW TRUCK you wouldn’t have had all that fun. Don’t tell him that part though, heh.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:23 am
I have a FILTHY, FILTHY story about 4×4ing, but I’m just not that sort of blogger.
Which is a shame, because it’s a FILTHY story.
Hey, Corb Lund!
April 17th, 2008 at 11:09 am
who doesn’t like a good mudbath?
April 17th, 2008 at 11:19 am
A girl after my own heart. I myself recently learned to drive a 4 wheeler ATV. In the mud. I have pictures.
And I’m pretty much a girlie girl these days, with a tad touch of tomboy.
Way to go gittin ‘er done all by yer lonesomes!!
April 17th, 2008 at 11:20 am
well, slap my butt and call me Judy…that’s a whole lotta fun.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:35 am
you and mud? HOT
April 17th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Git ‘er done! Awesome. Wish I’da been there.
And thanks for the song - I’d never heard of that guy before, and now that song’s stuck in my head.
Remind me sometime to tell you about the time we stuck my old Jeep tire deep in mud at Gettysburg during a reenactment on July 4 and then we got it out. It’s a fun story. Actually, I might just post about it on my blog here in the near future. Thanks for the inspiration.
(and happy birthday boo!)
April 17th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Now that sounds like a hootin and nollerin good ole tyme woman!
great song…
April 17th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Hey, some women pay good bucks for a mud bath! You got it for free and had a blast doing it! Happy Birhtday to your Boo!
April 17th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Cool tough chicks’ adventure!
For some reason, the title of this post makes me laugh. Reminds me of one of my daughters readers from last year. I love it!
Happy Birthday to the Booster!
April 17th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Happy Birthday Boo - enjoy your ride!
Holy craptastic RNM - I will go off roading with you when I make my way West - which is most definitely the WILD WILD WEST now that you are a truck driving lady of the outback.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I hope whatever ride you give to Boo, you don’t get stuck. But if you do, I am sure Dragon Lady will come help you, and let’s hope it doesn’t take $20 to get you half cleaned up!
You my dear are Canada’s answer to The Pioneer Woman. Sorta. Heh.
April 17th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I just love this story. And the pictures are incredible. I think you are a hoot…..who can beat this. I’m only sorry someone didn’t take photos while the two of you were working to get the truck out of the mud.
Great job, great bonding…your the best.
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram
www.grammology.com
April 17th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
I’m kind of fond of two women wrestling in the whipped cream, myself.
April 17th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
you are a study in contradictions, my friend. that’s what i like about you!
April 17th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
You certainly know how to spin a yarn, m’friend! Next time I want the story about the freezer of rotten meat. Something tells me in your hands, it would read like Poe.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Ha! That’s hilarious! MY FIL got stuck in those fields when we went out fishing a few years back. Why he would take his car out there when we’d had nothing but rain for the whole day before… LOL I’ve never seen that video though - hilarious!
April 17th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I am the girliest chick you will ever meet. Best day of my life was when I matched my bag to my shoes and then realised it matched my nails too! *swoon* Oh, and the birth of my kids was a pretty good day too.
But I loves me some muddy action and power tools.
I even have a pink fluffy tool belt.
And some mighty purdy shoes to match…
Happy Birthday to your Boo!
April 17th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Sounds like a blast! I remember sneeking off in our truck once with a friend before my parents came home one day. I was only 13 or 14, not supposed to be driving anyway. We got the truck stuck in the driveway (long dirt road from the paved road to our house). My mom was due home any minute. We were ripping boards off the fence to put under the wheels. We got unstuck, the boards washed off, the hole filled in all right before my mom got home. Whew!
April 18th, 2008 at 7:10 am
I haven’t been 4×4ing in years. Now I remember why - I dare say I would not look quite as hot as you covered in mud. I probably would have cried like a little girl. I envy your toughness, woman.
April 18th, 2008 at 7:59 am
so is that like genetically modified muck?hahaha! sounds like tons of fun red-neck mommy.and hey isn’t mud good for your skin?
April 18th, 2008 at 8:04 am
I loved that song. And the mud, well, I live in the city girl, we only have mud at the horse barns and I am so thankful. Give Boo a good ride, at least twice honey;)
April 18th, 2008 at 8:35 am
I thought of this highway when I read about your off-roading.
http://www.ssqq.com/ARCHIVE/vinlin27c.htm
April 18th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Big trucks equal big fun. Man I’m jealous!
Bertha as a name for a big rusty machine is awesome.
Oh, Ug read this, he’s impressed you even got down to get it unstuck, as he told me that he nudged me none to lightly.
I told him that’s what I married him for, getting me unstuck and the garbage.
April 18th, 2008 at 10:09 am
Now THAT is the way to face your fears! All you and Bertha needed was a little bonding time. I bet Stella is jealous now.
April 18th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Will you marry me Tanis?
April 18th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Trucks = FUN!
(Happy Birthday Boo…hope you enjoy your ride.)
April 19th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Wheeeeee!!!!! Sounds like tons of fun! Well, now that the truck is unstuck.
Reminds me of when I used to ride my dad’s ATV out in the field. Well, rode until I took a sharp turn and nearly tipped the damn thing and realized without a helmet on, I could easily damage my head bad enough to never be able to move out of my parents house. Never asked my dad for a helmet though, sacred myself silly I guess.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:13 am
Happy Birthday, Boo!
Enjoy the… er, ride.
April 24th, 2008 at 7:04 am
Sounds like a complete scream! I’m insanely jealous!
Cheers
BC
April 24th, 2008 at 7:07 am
PS the song is brilliant.
May 1st, 2008 at 11:09 pm
WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!
Yee Haw girls!
Those are some of the best pastimes ever! Wish I had been there with you! I haven’t played in the mud with my truck in way too long!
Whenever you’ve had a really bad day or are really pissed at some one - that’s a great way to take your mind off it!
Have fun and don’t forget to do it again!