There are moments in life that are so unexpectedly sweet that when they happen you can’t believe your good fortune and you spend the rest of your day smiling and shooting rainbows out your arse.
Like when you take out an old coat and find a crumpled twenty dollar bill inside a lint filled pocket.
Or when you buy a lottery ticket and actually win something. (Because that is totally possible. They keep handing out those free tickets just to sucker you back in with false hope.)
Or when your daughter scores the only damn goal her team has seen this entire season and it’s made only sweeter because she’s playing against kids four years older than her and twice her size.
So sue me if I jumped up and down, cheering and screaming like a raging soccer mom lunatic. That little victory was hard earned and made sweeter by the ability to brag that it was MY daughter.
Ya. We She rocks.
I love those little unexpected gifts life brings. It’s like finding a pretty little chocolate resting upon on the pillowcase of life. (Okay, so that is a horrible analogy, but I never professed to be a poet.)
Those little nuggets of goodness are all the more sweeter now that we know just how dark life can get. I tend to cherish them harder and hold them closer than I ever did before our son died.
Which is why, when I received a phone call from a dear family friend, I wrapped myself in the unexpected glow of warmth and thanked the Universe itself for my latest unexpected gift.
This gift was even better than watching my daughter’s triumphant smile after her victory on the soccer field. This gift was even more precious than the time I was snooping and found unexpected photos of my son in my friend’s photo album.
This gift made me smile and then weep with joy (and only a bit of sadness). This gift was a reminder of a life once lived, a love forever shared. I can’t believe I didn’t even know it existed before that phone call.
Video footage of my darling Bug. The ONLY video footage that exists in the world because we were too poor during his life to be able to afford a video camera to capture his beautiful soul.
(If only we had a crystal ball back then and knew how important it would be to document his moments. Sigh.)
Now I have him, captured forever alive and cranky and in his glory. For a few brief moments I get to experience my son’s sweet kisses and remember the warm feeling of his sweaty hair and how he clung to me for comfort for a few minutes. Not that I forgot, but it is so wonderful to see it in front of me instead of just inside my head and heart.
Because now I can share it with you.
You never know what sugary surprises life has in store for you.
You also never know when a bad haircut and forgetting to wear any lipstick is going to come back and bite you on the arse.
I’ll just try to over look that. How bout you do the same?
**Note: The video is around four minutes long. Just click play under the big screen at the bottom and his piece will start. **







Sunday, 22 June, 2008 at 13:53
It was lovely to see your son, and you. Reminded me a little of Katie, I’m always wipe the drool off her chin. It was a wonderful gift to receive and thanks for sharing it.
Sunday, 22 June, 2008 at 17:16
You still are, as you were then – amazing. I am so glad that you have this.
Sunday, 22 June, 2008 at 19:06
wow wow wow.
what an incredible gift. Thank you for sharing with us!
Sunday, 22 June, 2008 at 19:20
I can’t wait to meet and hug that boy in heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, 22 June, 2008 at 20:01
Wow! You two are both gorgeous. What a gift to have this video of your little one.
Thank you so much for sharing him with us!
Sunday, 22 June, 2008 at 20:59
Oh T, you are goodness and light in every way. No one for a second is thinking about your lipstick.
Sunday, 22 June, 2008 at 22:52
Liz put it right. Good mother. good mother. good mother.
Sweet child, not a word of a lie.
Monday, 23 June, 2008 at 9:52
Ug, the video isn’t working for me either. I’ll have to try it at home.
Monday, 23 June, 2008 at 11:43
T, he is even more gorgeous than his adorable pictures, and your words, had me believe. Thank you for sharing this with us, even though I’m not sure I’ll ever stop crying.
Tuesday, 24 June, 2008 at 7:27
Lord, T, he is beautiful. Thanks for sharing this gift with us. I am so glad to get to see Bug with his mommy like this.
Amazing.
Tuesday, 24 June, 2008 at 10:52
oh sweetness. what a gift that must be, to have that footage.
he is beautiful.
Tuesday, 24 June, 2008 at 14:55
What an awesome video to have
I dont know how you do it.
But I will tell you, you looked fabulous….no lipstick and all!!
peace
#2
Wednesday, 25 June, 2008 at 19:06
I know I’m a few days late, but what an incredible blessing to receive this video! It shows what a truly amazing mother you are. Thank you so much for sharing this with your readers. Bug is so sweet and your hair looked fabulous. The style becomes you.
Friday, 27 June, 2008 at 22:52
Hi! I am happy for your find. You are a wonderful friend for me and so many others. I believe a sharp wit and great sense of humor is just the ticket in a world in so much trouble. I am new to your site but love it and have published the URL elsewhere as well as personally urging friends to give it a read, that’s all it takes and they, like me, are hooked.
Thanks so much for giving an old man the smiles and belly laughs I garner here daily from your well written and amazing funny stories. Keep it up please, I would miss hell out of you otherwise.
Monday, 30 June, 2008 at 11:29
Thank you so much for sharing this video with us. I’ve been a follower of the blog for some time, but to see you together with your child is so powerful.
Best wishes-
Thursday, 25 June, 2009 at 14:50
I’ve been catching up on your older posts, after finding your blog listed on the ‘Bloggies’ site. I’ve been lurking, yes. But I didn’t want to post on such old posts. I was planning on waiting and posting after I had caught up. But I couldn’t help but comment on your son’s beauty. Watching that video, after hearing your story…well, let’s just say I’m going through my own kleenex right now. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m so glad to see that you have a way to go back and see your Bug again. Your strength and ability to come to grips with this tragedy and still live your life are an inspiration. Although I have not experienced the loss you have been forced to deal with, you have inspired me to start my own blog, for therapuetic reasons…but I’m not quite ready yet. Thank you for sharing your beautiful child with us. It’s truly heart-touching.
P.S. Have you contacted this establishment to see the extra footage for this video? I bet they have other footage of Bug, with all the editing and whatnot. Keep us posted if you do.