I was 18 years old and friends with a rock star. He wasn’t famous, but he was dangerous with a set of drumsticks and every chance I got to watch him perform I truly believed he was destined for greatness.
I also believed I would always have a 24-inch waist and an ass so tight you could bounce marbles off it. I was a tad naive. What can I say; I was young and stupid as are most 18 year-old girls.
I had known this rock star my entire life. He was the eldest son to one of my father’s best friends and he was five years older than me. He taught me how to swing from the barn loft from a rope, how to catch frogs by the local pond and later, how to sneak into the racecar track to watch the weekly drag races.
As I grew up, we grew close. We became friends. There was never ever any romance involved with our friendship, we had known each other far too long for that and I was already in love with someone else. His cousin, named Boo. We talked on the phone almost daily and managed to see each other the odd weekends when neither of us had a date or had to work.
One such weekend I twisted his arm (which was no easy feat since he had massive biceps from all that drum beating) into taking me out to the bar. Rockstar, or Rocky for short, was often taking me places as I sat beside him in the passenger seat of his pimped out pick up truck, but he didn’t like taking me to night clubs.
Rocky didn’t like having to watch my sorry ass get pickled drunk off of two beers and then spend the rest of the night beating off the hormonal males that inevitably sniffed around a young intoxicated blonde. It was like waving a raw steak in front of a pack of wolves. Rocky had better things to do with his time than to act like my bodyguard.
It’s hard to pick up chicks when you constantly have to baby-sit another girl. I was lady-repellent. I was a horrible wingman for Rocky.
Still, I was Rocky’s friend and as his friend he agreed to pick me up for a night on the town. Because I knew I was just lucky to be out of the house and with Rocky, I agreed when he suggested we go to this little hole in the wall bar, a rock bar. This suited Rocky’s sensibilities for several reasons. It played primarily hair rock, which Rocky loved and played himself on his drumset as he dreamed of becoming the next Bret Micheals. It was also a rather dinky bar, with an older clientele so Rocky wouldn’t have to beat off a hoard of young men when I became a slobbering drunk and starting dancing wildly on tabletops. And the biggest reason, the most important reason, was this bar was next door to a skeevy strip joint.
It would be like killing two birds with one stone.
(Yes I’d go to strip joints. I love strippers. One day I’ll write about my love of the pole. But not today.)
Well, the inevitable happened. I drank one beer and morphed into a raging wild thing, hauling every man who dared glance at me onto the dance floor to thrash along with me to whatever 80’s rock song was blaring from the speakers.
Rocky just rolled his eyes and focused on trying to keep a watchful eye on me while flirting with any woman in the bar that wasn’t over the age of forty and still had all her teeth. (Ya, it was a classy establishment.)
Eventually, Rocky decided the night was over when he noticed there was a dark, longhaired dude who was almost seven feet tall watching me from the corner of the bar. Rocky didn’t feel like having to fight off this goliath to protect my honour so he bundled me up and ushered me out of the bar while I laughed and giggled at his over-protectiveness.
In my drunken state, I didn’t pick up on the bad vibe from the dude wearing a long leather trench coat with beautiful black hair. I hadn’t really noticed him because I was too busy dancing (either by myself or with whatever perverted letch who wanted to see how far he could get with me) but I trusted Rocky’s judgment enough to allow him to take me home.
Besides, the world was starting to spin sideways. That always seemed to happen to me if I drank more than one beer at the time. (Oh to be a cheap drunk once again…)
As we made our way outside of the bar, Rocky ran into some old high school buddies and struck up a conversation while making sure I didn’t run down the street half naked, singing the chorus of Warrant’s Cherry Pie. Meanwhile, the mysterious giant with long black hair and the leather trench coat had followed us out of the bar and was standing back at a distance, watching us, watching me.
When Rocky was distracted with his friends, my new admirer decided to approach me. He introduced himself and told me he thought I was beautiful. I was surprised by his attention, for this man was obviously older than my 18 year-old self and he was striking looking. Not handsome, nor beautiful but he had beautiful green eyes and his hair just begged you to run your hands through it.
He was charming and he made me laugh. (Granted, that wasn’t necessarily a laud-worthy feat since I was extremely intoxicated but still.) Rocky noticed the giant talking to me and started to move towards me to shove my sorry arse into his truck.
Meanwhile, my new suitor, a crafty fellow, maneuvered us so that he was between Rocky and myself and there was a throng of people in between us, thwarting Rocky’s attempt at rescuing me.
For a few more minutes my new goth-like friend charmed me and I flirted back. Then the mysterious man in the trench coat smiled a coy smile and told me he had a secret he wanted to share with me and asked if he could whisper it to me.
Drunk and stupid and a bit curious, I agreed, flirting and laughing and watching Rocky try to get through the throng of people before us as the dark stranger leaned down from the heights of the sky where he towered above me to whisper in my ear, “I’m a vampire.”
I stopped laughing and looked up at the man standing before me and I realized just how stupid I had been to stray from Rocky’s safety. Rocky must have seen the look on my face because he started throwing people out of the way in his effort to reach me.
I suddenly fathomed what my drunken self had not earlier recognized. This man was a lunatic. Granted a good-looking lunatic but still a nut-job nonetheless.
I laughed nervously while watching for Rocky to rescue me and politely declined to give my vampire friend my phone number when he asked for it. I was drunk at this point but not stupid. I bantered with him warily and tried to extract myself from his presence because suddenly I was all too aware of how large this man was and how tiny I was.
My vampire friend picked up on my nervousness and tried to calm me. He told me he had no interest in harming me, he was just captivated by my presence, my beauty. I rolled my eyes at him, recognizing a cheesy pick up line when I heard it.
Still, time seemed to stand still in those few seconds as Rocky tried to reach me and this delusional vampire stood between us and before I knew it, my new suitor bent down towards me, his eyes locked on mine.
I thought he was going to kiss me so I started to push him away, suddenly repulsed and scared by him. He grabbed me by the forearms, (so hard I had purple bruises on my arms for a week) and pulled me towards him. Before I had time to even breathe, his mouth was on me.
On my neck. That facker was biting my neck. Hard.
I screamed at him to get off me just as Rocky ripped him away from me. I grabbed my neck to check for blood as Rocky threw the man against the brick wall of the bar and punched him. Suddenly there was a throng of angry men surrounding the vampire lunatic and Rocky abandoned him to the the vengeance of the mob to attend to me.
I was shaking and near tears and my neck was on fire. Rocky grabbed me and asked me if I was okay and I shakily told him I’d live. But make sure you have a wooden stake to stab through my heart if I suddenly morph into the undead, I joked.
Rocky wasn’t amused as he hustled me into the safety of his truck and once the doors were locked he turned to examine the extent of damage inflicted on my flesh by my vampire’s love bite.
“Jesus, Tanis,” he breathed. “You’re bleeding. You can see his teeth marks.” I looked at myself in the mirror of his sun visor and was shocked to see just how bad the bite was.
“No wonder it hurt. I thought vampires were supposed to have sharp teeth. It felt like he was ripping my skin with a dull butter knife,” I half joked, half shuddered.
I ended up spending the night in the emergency room getting my love wound treated as Rocky had his hand bandaged up after busting it against the vampire’s face.
Hours later, we walked out of the hospital as the sun was just starting to rise. I laughed and told Rocky we were safe from any further vampire attacks now that the sun was up.
That was the last time I ever went to that bar with Rocky. We found a new stomping ground to visit, one with fewer crazy vampire lunatics hanging around.
After that night I became interested in vampire lore and the culture surrounding it. I read every vampire related book I could get my hands on and immersed myself in the knowledge of the undead. I couldn’t forget the brilliant green eyes that had earnestly declared he was a vampire right before he bit me.
I’ll be thinking of those green eyes and that long thick black hair as I take my children to watch the movie Twilight today.
I’ll be scanning the crowd for a tall old dude with crazy green eyes and a trench coat. And I’m going to make sure I’m wearing a turtleneck. With a clove of garlic around my neck.
59 Comments
So now you’re really a vampire posing as human, right? LOL
And Rocky must be something unnatural also, since he had the strength to rescue you!
See, Twilight Lives! LOLOL!!!!! Hope you enjoy the movie–I’ve got my ticket and am ready for a great girls night. I’m sort of hoping for some good movie romance too, so I can score when I get home. If movie Edward is as HOT as book Edward is, it’s gonna be a great night!
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OK, that was a creepy story!
Have fun tonight at Twilight though. Just don’t forget your garlic necklaces to wear. *shudder*
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Good Lord was his name Michael? - because I think I dated him in the early 90’s. I refer to him now as “the bad man”.
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Damn girl! Your bar stories are way better than any I ever had.
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Holy hell Tanis!
My intro into vampire culture was much tamer. A girl in my 11th Grade English class had vampire teeth, the enamel ones (acrylic?) permanently applied to her canines. She claimed her boyfriend was a 400 yr old vampire. It fascinated and eeked me out.
Your fascination with the pole.. oh so many double entendres there
LOL.
Have a fabulous evening at the movie hon.
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Great story. I have just recently caved in to peer pressure and started the series myself. Kind of surprising how quickly I was sucked in. Heh. So to speak.
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HOLY SHIT. I hope that guy is dead or incarcerated now. What a freak.
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That is some weird shit. You definitely have lived.
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If I were you I’d wear pants too.
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i think the allure of vampires is that people want to secretly be taken advantage of.
(Note to Papa: Do not end sentences on “of”. It’s just bad grammar.)
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The fucker, sheesh…he drew blood?? I’m all for getting bruised from some spankings, but drawing blood?
I’m all about strip clubs too! Nothing wrong with that
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Are you sure you didn’t push him away and say, “Bite me?”
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Wow! Your story brought me out of lurker land! I had the same thing happen to me in a nightclub when I was 21 (yeah right!) Same tight ass, blond hair, small waist and some nice perky boobs ( oh, where have you gone perky boobs? - oh yeah, there you are - down there!) Only I was in Miami!!!! And I was dancing with the fella - and he leaned down and bit my neck! Made it f’in bleed! Only I punched him, and then kicked him where it hurt, then my other friend kicked him in the head while he was down…we were mean back then…
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That is totally creepy.
But DAMN. I love those books. I’m such a git. My sister would laugh at me, and not in a good way, if I told her that.
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So, you were bitten by… well. That explains a lot of things. A whole lot.
But, it’s obviously a neck no one could resist…
I’ve always wondered about peoples’ fascination with vampires, pirates, and zombies. I think there needs to be a movie with vampires, pirates and zombies - it would be a huge hit. Argh.
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OMG. That is one of the scariest stories I’ve ever heard.
I had to laugh at the turtleneck plan!
Hope you manage to enjoy the movie!
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OMG!!!! That is some messed up story!!!
I saw an episode of the Tyra show about REAL (or as real as can be) vampires in today’s world. Tyra was a little freaked out by them and I didn’t blame her one damn bit! But to each his own I guess… I like the episode of South Park WAY better where the Emo kids end up burning down the Hot Topic store to end the wave of pretending to be vampires. Yeah, I admit I watch it, but only because the husband sits on the remote and I have no choice… besides from what I heard from the “Today’s Vampires”, they do NOT like sex, and well, THAT is NOT natural!
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OK - that is scary when you say it like THAT.
But I just got back from that movie, and I’m telling you right now - I’d let Robert Patterson (aka Edward) bite the sh*t out of me.
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That is a crazy story; you have the wildest stories. Vampire (looking/acting) people sort of freak me out. I would rather not be bitten…maybe nibbled…but never bitten, especially not to draw blood.
Have fun at your movie!
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Yikes!!!
Now if that happens tonight while I’m seeing Twilight I think I might be happy! LOL Sick, yes, I know!!
What a story, girl!
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I think I need to jump on the Twilght bandwagon. I hate having no clue what people are talking about!
Also: good old Edmonchuk has a pretty active underground “Vampire” scene. A friend is actively involved in it and has asked me to go out with her a few times.
Um… no thanks.
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Sounds like my high school boyfriend.
He must have been wearing heels cause he wasn’t that tall.
And damn you woman, between you and FADKOG I have binned my vampire post. How can I compete with that?
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That’s just freaky!
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Wow, Tanis, you were attracting the crazies even then!! lol
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Wowza. I thought I was the only person that attracted that level of weird. lol. It’s lucky that Rocky was paying so close attention to you. There’s no telling what that lunatic would have done.
By the way, they butchered Twilight.
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wierd, now we know some of the historical foundations of your writings…i wonder what Dr. Freud would say???
as for the strip joint deal, i took a friend of mine to one, she ‘claimed’ to be 100% lezbo*…she loved the strip joint, and the entertainment loved preforming for her… i even bought her a “lap dance”, and both the reciever and the dancer loved their time together in the booth…
*as far as i’m concerned, lesbian-isum is simply another challange to seduction…it can be over come…(tanis, it this is T.M.I. for the blogg let me know, and i’ll stop w/ the TMI)… looking forward to your strip joint story…
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That is such a great story, although I’m glad your weren’t hurt too badly. Regarding the movie..I’m going too..aren’t we nuts and don’t we love it..
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
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That’s just disgusting! Amazing that the guy just walked up and bit you like that. Glad you made it out of there okay. Well..sort-of okay.
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Man, now I won’t be able to sleep tonight: instead of just dreaming about Tanis, it’ll be tanis and that weirdo with the green eyes. AIIEEE!
Good post, BTW.
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Vampires can’t be trusted. They always go back on their word, and then go for the throat.
Just so you know, even though I am quite pale, I am not a vampire, thus, no worries about me biting you when we totally french kiss!
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wow. fly paper for freaks even at 18. thank goodness for good, strong friends, right?
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80’s? Strippers? Vampires? Bar?
You need to write a movie.
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Awesome.
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what an awesome story.
My elder is so excited to go.
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that was one green-eyed,long-haired,creepy looking freak.
i’m not a vampire,wouldn’t born in Transylvania and would never bite a lady …but…
girl,you got a tasty-looking neck
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What I think is creepy is that poor guy truly believed that he a) WAS a vampire, and b) that it would be alright with you for him to just walk up and bite your neck. Talk about freakin’ psycho. Good thing you had Rocky to save you. Why you didn’t sleep with him after that night, I don’t know, because coming to my rescue like that would have TOTALLY sealed the deal for me. LOL
Also, I’ve tagged you for a meme on my blog. You’re not obligated to do it… I just wanted to send more traffic your way because you are so AWESOME!
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Wow. That story was kind of creepy. I haven’t read or seen the movie but I want to read the book first. I will probably wait to see the movie until it is rentable or on HBO.
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If he was truly a vampire, he won’t have aged a bit! But that was kinda scary. I was also a stupid intoxicated youth, and the fact that I survived unharmed from my many encounters with danger still amazes me.
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Blimey!! Maybe he was a bit peckish and thought you looked tasty….
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OOH, Tanis! It sounds like you met up with the darker-haired version of an ex of mine… mine had LONG deep auburn hair and sky-blue eyes… and ALSO declared himself to be a vampire, oh, TOO far into the relationship for me to run like a bat out of hell fast enough.
He never DID turn up in photographs I tried to take of him… Hmm…
I honestly canNOT be in his presence, or even bear to hear his NAME. It still gets me to the core this very day - 12 years later!!
I’m WITH you on the vampire lore and literature, though… oh, to be in an Anita Blake novel. Heh!
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Lucky, I’ve only had werewolves attracted to me in night clubs.
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Oh my gosh, Tanis…totally freaky! Seriously, I had goosebumps while reading your account. Twenty-nine years old, and I’m afraid of Vampires. Yeesh.
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Comedy? Seriously. That’s was scary!
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Ewwwwwwwww. What a weird experience.
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ohh gawd!!! :O frewky sh*t that was.. i am 19 but no vampires here in India
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Holy crap - really? That was pretty damn freaky. Do you still have the bite marks on your neck?
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sweet baby jesus!!!!! Listen, I’ve got a couple of silver stakes over here- I’ll send them RIGHT over. (bat-mail)
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I went and saw Twilight on Friday, holy craziness, Batman! (the crowd, not the movie)
So, what did you think?
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If vampires exist I’m sure I saw one in Prague. She freaked us all out.
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I am gonna quote my husband on this one: “Out of everyone in this bar, they always find you” Apparently I am a weirdo lunatic freak magnet as well. I haven’t been bit by a “vampire” yet, but I have had 4 acquaintances of mine decide that they are “vampires”. I just shake my head and walk away.
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wow, creepy. did you file a police report? not that the local po-po can really wrangle the undead…
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Wow. That’s a wild story- I’m glad it ended before it got worse!
Looking forward to getting sucked into Twilight in the post-Christmas calm (hey, I can dream, right?).
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Eeeeek! I’m so torn between wanting to date or kill a vampire.. I’m halfway through Twilight. The no sex part (so far anyway, be quiet with your spoilers, people) might be a dealbreaker for me, though.
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Ewww! What a weirdo! I don’t think anyone I’ve ever encountered could top that, and I’ve seen some bozo’s in my time. LOL
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If you like traditional vampire lore be prepared to be disappointed in Twilight. I was.
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Wow! There really are some weirdos out there!
I didn’t have an encounter with a loon that thought he was a vampire. NO, mine seemed completely normal until we were walking along the beach looking up at the sky and he casually said that he’d like to take me to his planet someday. . . and he pointed. Yeah, I bolted. . . like the wind. Freaks out there.
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I could use a friend to keep from singing the chorus to “Cherry Pie” half naked. What is it about that song??
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Wow. I wonder what the doctors and nurses thought about your love bite.
You’ll have to write what you thought about the movie. I’ve already blogged it to death so now I want to see what other people thought. (:
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Garlic will not work, crosses will not work, holly water will not work, a stake through a heart will kill anything, the guy was probably drunk, and hi at the same time.
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