When I started blogging almost three years ago, I had no idea what an Internet troll was. I remember the first time I stumbled on the magical existence of said creature and looked on with a bit of shock and awe.
I was very young (in spirit if not in body) and naive back in the day. I also believed unicorns and fairy dust could be found on the net if you knew where to look.
Three years later, I’m slightly older but infinitely wiser. I know that trolls exist everywhere and the only place unicorns and fairy dust exist on the net is over on Danny’s site. (But that’s because he regularly shoots rainbows out his arse. He’s special like that.)
The truth is we are all cavorting in a big cyber playground and eventually; someone is going to throw some sand. It’s inevitable. Trolls aren’t mystical, magical creatures; they’re just snotty-nosed over grown children who haven’t been taught how to play nice with others.
I’ve always let trollish comments stand on my site. To be honest, most of the time they amuse me. Better yet, I like to sit back and let my readers feed on them. It’s like tossing chum into shark infested waters.
As I often tell my kids, if you mess with the bull, you’re gonna get the horn.
Besides, I have always felt that part of the charm of blogging is the interaction and feeling of community which commenting fosters. Even if the comments are slightly ignorant.
But after yesterday, I’ve reevaluated my policy on Internet trolls. Call me crazy, but if you accuse me of something which is completely false and then stick around to poke at the beehive with a big stick, I’m not thinking you want to be part of the loving redneck community I have busted my arse building over the last three years.
I’ve decided I will now delete as the mood strikes.
Don’t be angry dear troll. I promise I will save your comment, paste it lovingly into a scrapbook and then read it and re-read it until the words are faded and the paper well worn. Because your words really mean that much to me.
Our love will just remain hidden from the prying eyes of the internet.
But it is just not cool to take a swing at me on a post about my dead kid. I mean, I’m a REDNECK and I have better manners than that. Ironically, over at Cynical Dad’s place, he’s freaking ROASTING me. Hop on over there and let ‘er rip. That’s what a roast is for. Not to mention, the talented writers he’s got lined up will show your trollish self how to tear me a new arsehole with style.
Sheesh. Do I have to tell you everything?
Disagree with me all you want, dear Internets. I embrace a challenge and dissenting opinions. (Ask my husband, he’ll tell ya. Snicker.) Not to mention, my readers enjoy the chum-my nature of a good disagreement. As long as you are respectful, I have no issue with your opinion, no matter how wrong you are, and I’ll likely leave the comment up for everyone’s amusement.
But if you mess with me the day after my dead kid’s birthday, or on a post about my beloved boy, I may have to stick my horn up your trollish butt.
After which, I’ll be pasting your comment into my book of love to forever fondle.
Just so you know.
***Also, I’m getting my butt wiped over at the Weblog Awards and my ego is taking a pounding. It’s tough being the only non-partisan blog in the entire category up against all those political blowhards. That ought to make some trolls happy. You know you can vote everyday until the 12th, right? And when I lose with style I promise I’ll throw a big pity party on my blog for everyone who wasn’t nominated or lost and we’ll take comfort in our collective misery.
That said, if I win, I’m totally streaking the streets of the Internet buck naked while shouting, “In yer face all you Canadian political bloggers. A mommy blogger beat ya. Boo-ya!“
Cuz I’m classy like that.***
98 Comments
Amen.
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One of the good things about having a blog that nobody reads is you never have to deal with someone like that. I can’t believe I missed that whole thing…thats what I get for spending too much time on Twitter.
Well, its done and over now, but I do want to say that even though I’ve only known you a short while, I’m impressed by how you carry yourself in an ugly situation and equally impressed by the support your readers show you. You must be doin something right!
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Somebody trashed you on the post about your son? Who are they? Let’s mock them mercilessly!
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Your troll doesn’t go by the name “Truth in Advertising” does he? Or she…
Because that’s the name of my troll….and I just delete, delete, delete. I think it drives him mad, because he keeps commenting, asking why I delete his comments.
Stupid trolls.
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But, but, but I love the trolls.
Wouldn’t it be more amusing to track and post their IP address with a address location and perhaps a cute itsy-bitty li’l pic from Google maps?
That might be fun. Just saying.
Trolls don’t like onelooking in their windows from hi-def satellite images to see them picking their nose, masturbating to Barbies, or pulling out their belly button lint.
It’s their trollish nature to be sad, lonely, pathetic little creatures who feel big in their their anonymous cyber bullying. Unveil them and they’ll turn out just to be little dribbles of nothing.
~Scout’s honor
http://unitedtstatesofmotherhood.com
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That’s my Cancadian. And like I’ve said, trolls are just an indicator that you’ve made it.
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I LOVE that cartoon. LOL.
Frankly, I don’t get why people don’t do two things when they have issues.
Email the person they’re frustrated with (which will usually end up tossed to the sharks like chum anyway) or JUST MOVE ON.
Although I don’t think you should delete. It gives your loyal readers fodder to chew on.
*snaps sharp teeth* We need to keep those teeth sharp you know. LOL.
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I think trolls are pathetic. All they have to do is hit “unsubscribe” in their feeds. I used to allow all commenting on my blog. Then, I had to disable “anonymous” commenting because people didn’t have the balls to leave their names after their rants. Then, as a last resort, I had to go to approving all comments before they published because people would set up fake Google accounts with no true blog or way to respond to them. Trolling and leaving fake info is a huge sign of cowardice. People need to step up to the plate and strap on a pair and tell the truth. If you have the balls to criticize someone, then have the balls to do it personally. Mean people suck.
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I for one am looking forward to going BACK to being no one again…hopefully sometime next week.
The delete button CAN be your friend, within reason.
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Yeah, this is where being unknown has the most serious of advantages.
To disagree is one thing, to kick someone so hard on tender topics is just uncalled for.
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Delurking to tell you that you rock my socks — seriously, trolls are just mean — and I’m from Jersey. You don’t need to win no stickin’ awards to prove anything, to anyone. Your readers will keep on lovin’ you, regardless. Blog on, Momma!
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You go girl!
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Who? Where? I had some contacts with some Sicilians who don’t take kindly to insulting a lady! You need some help? Hey, Avitable, can you call in some more favors with that CIA satellite guy you used to track down the Mommy?
Errr. Tanis, please know, I’m with you. Somethings are jutst wrong . Bastard.
Other that that, how’s your day going?
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Seriously people and their lack of class. I had a shitty mom and even she taught me to respect dead children
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Way to tell the trolls to suck it!
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Rolled humongous belly over to be able to barley reach the keyboard is voting now making sick child home from school help. Please send chocolate and what is an internet troll?
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I’m a pretty big fan of the delete button (or icon, or whatever). Trolls deserve no better. If they want respect, they need to earn it. You can disagree and still be polite about it.
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Trolls suck! And it’s your site and you get to do with them what you want. I’m a big fan of deleting. Especially in this case. Not cool.
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I am so sorry for the troll’s words/actions. I found you months ago and stop in everyday. You make me laugh, cry, think, pray and hope. Thank you.
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I really can’t believe the stupidity of people these days. I mean to say something about Bug like that? WHAT THE FUCK. I would go apeshit if I knew who said it and how to get a hold of them, that’s just NOT COOL. It’s taboo; something you DON’T EVER DO.
Trolls, as a rule, suck..but this is an all time low.
Hugs to you Tanis, you rock and don’t forget that!
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Down with the trolls. Although they can be amusing…if you don’t give them too much attention.
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I just noticed something–your troll has no dick!
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Trolls are evil and should be bricked into a closet at the earliest convenience. ‘Cept, trolls are known for chewing their way out. Sneaky trolls.
I think your above post proves you’ve far exceeded your troll in class and with a flair that few can match. Good on ya!
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I missed the comment…. gotta say I am curious guess it’s that whole rubber necking instinct…. glad you are standing up for yourself!!
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Ah, that delete, it is a powerful thing.
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I put in my vote again today and checked out the roast earlier today.I can’t wait to see how you get them all back.If I were them I would be shitting my pants about now.
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Wow - I’m all naive and shit just venturing into this playground and I still have fairy dust in my eyes … until now! Holy shit….who are these lamos? Of course the internets is simply the WHOLE WIDE WORLD so of course there are these losers out there. I just didn’t really think about it until now.
Damn them for doing that to you. You rule.
And I’ll be voting.
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:: claps ::
You ROCK!!
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Wow! I’m sort of embarrassed to say that I’d never heard of the Internet Troll before. (I’m visiting for the first time!) I would have thought that anyone who is mean enough to say something snarky on the anniversary of someone’s dead child was, well. . . a great big asshole. That’s what we call them in good ol Pennsylvania. Then we feed them poisoned chow chow and dance on their dead body. It’s quite civilized, really.
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My new year’s resolution is to delurk more often and tell people who give me hope, joy, and grace know how much I appreciate them. I really admire your joy. You’re my hero!
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I like Debbie’s resolution. I’ve been reading for a while, I love your spirit and your writing. I’ve laughed and cried, sometime in the same post. We’ve adopted and dealt with all the paperwork and government crap and fear that one person can ruin everything for absolutely no reason. My heart broke for you when you told your adoption story.
Happy belated birthday to your beautiful angel boy.
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Usually it helps to just ignore these people. Seriously. I know it’s hurtful when they do things like this, but by hitting the publish button you just basically told this person that they’re accomplishing their goal of Getting To Tanis.
I wouldn’t even give them the second it takes to hit the delete button, and I wouldn’t bother writing anymore posts about their shittiness.
I’m sorry someone had the balls to do that, though. You deserve more than that.
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you really turn me on when you put on your verbal boxing gloves
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I’m sorry that you had to deal with such a gobshite on your beautiful sons birthday post. I voted for you immediatly. Best wishes.
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The worst troll I ever got was someone telling me I had bad hair- which was just so blatantly untrue that I had to just laugh it off.
But to comment on your child? That is absolutely appalling…
xo
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I’m not a regular reader, but this post tells me why I need to put this blog up next to Undomestic Diva (if I could figure out how to get it to RSS to my LJ friends page, my lazy ass totally would).
As the mother of a dead child, I both hug and commend you. I’ve had trolls poke me about both my disease and my dead child, and it is no fun. And yes, they get the shit kicked out of them. I take alot of crap before I defend myself (though you only have to breathe wrong at those I love before my inner akita comes at you fangs blazing) but those are both very deep hurts to me, in different ways.
Don’t fuck with my children. Not the living one, not the dead one. My son’s birth and death were twelve years ago this coming May, and I never know…ever how it is going to affect me around that time. Last year it comprised of me completely overreacting out of proportion to a friend’s situation and having a breakdown every day at the same time for three days straight before I figured out what was going on.
*hugs you tight* You’re a total stranger of course…but we’re members of the same, awful club. I am so sorry. But I smile though…for the light and love that your Bug brought to your life, because Rhys brought the same to us in the four days he was with us.
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If you don’t want to stick a horn up his/her trollish butt, I WILL. But, there’s no need. This person clearly ALREADY has a horn up the butt and needs to get off and get a life. Very sad.
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There are just some lines you don’t cross and that troll crossed my #1. Kids. I am in a sharkish mood and hungry, where are they? I hope they never have to bury a child, seriously, the day they did they would really really know what an asshole they are.
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I have the same policy. Make fun of me all you want, but make weird comments about the kid? Delete!
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dear gawd and all things holy a troll….pandoras ethernet sent me….congrats on your nom….off to vote now….
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Dear Tanis~ I read your blog and love it. I want to be you!!! as for the troll, let me at them..I need to practice giving shots and enemas and I think they would be great little piggies to practice on. you rock woman!
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wow. holidays really are over, huh? so much for keeping that holiday spirit through the first week of the new year. people suck. hateful mean people suck even more.
speaking of sucking…how’s that damn dog of yours?
*kishy*
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Thankfully I haven’t really encountered a troll on my blog yet. But, I don’t have nearly as many readers or commenters as you do.
It’s very admirable the way you handle situations. Plus, because you’re such a fantastic writer you make every situation fun to read. It’s not your fault someone is JEALOUS of you. Heck, I’m sure 90% of your readers are! LOL!
Good luck on the Blog awards! I hope you Rock it!
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My blog doesn’t get trolls. Spammers, sometimes. Homebound freaks of nature, of course — we’re family. Hot Canadian babes, only when I beg and plead while wearing a fetching G-string. Trolls, nope.
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I used to like Trolls. The little rubber dolls, not the internet kind which I just learned about from you. Don’t let anyone tell you that time blogging is time wasted — it’s a place to learn something new every day.
I voted for you because your blog rocks. I just got back from Disney World, which is like a big buffet of examples of bad parenting. I cried when I read the final (yet pending) chapter of the Bam Bam story. I’m an adoptive mom, too, and I absolutely cannot imagine how you stay so funny and together. After that kind of betrayal, I’d have to be shipped off somewhere to make macaroni jewelry and name the blades of grass.
Good job kickin’ that troll back where he belongs.
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Trolls are hairy little warts with no friends. Because, gross, who wants to hang out with a hairy wart?
Your son is beautiful and so are you.
Voted for you.
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My FAVORITE troll comment that I ever received was:
“The Mayor and The Rooster are the names I call my balls.”
I am still laughing about that one.
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Voted. Again
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What? What’d I miss?! Who would dare to bash on Shalebug?! So not cool…
Trolls suck….’course, it is fun to blast ‘em good once in a while.
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Oh, I went back and read….well. I get it now.
Again, so not cool.
Tanis, you rock for handling it so well. Kudos. Seriously.
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I’m glad you wrote a post about this. I’m still in disbelief that you got that comment on that post.
Good luck in the blog contest… I’ll go check it out now.
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Delete. What a wonderful button
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You know, you are one of the most solid and complete women I have ever had the opportunity to read.
I say, let the troll stand and let “it” deal with the aftermath of those that love you. Because we all do. You are OUTSTANDING!!! Unless of course, the troll was too cowardly to show its real self.
I missed what would’ve been Shalebug’s birthday. For that, I am pissed at myself.
Anyway, be strong my fellow Canadian (I can’t wait until the day I can call you my friend!). And yes, you get my vote, every single 24 hours baby!
PS: Can you send me a picture of your boobs? I’m just interested in the nipple rings… thinking about it myself… you know, had to ask, what can I say..
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You handle the writing and I will take care of the ass kicking. Say all you want about me, but if you go after my kids words will not help you.
Yes I voted for you today - Web Blog Awards.
Sorry for the bluntness, but this one touched a nerve.
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Never heard of trolls before now… sounds like one mixed up kid. Sorry it hot y’all hot and bothered… a tough thing to handle at a tough time.
Have voted already but will head over again. This is the most bizarre setup for an award (whoever heard of voting more than once?)… good luck!
BB
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er…that would be “GOT you all hot and bothered”.
*sheesh!*
BB
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I’ve been lurking here for a while and have followed your ups and downs over the past few months. Your writing is captivating as you share such painful events, and hilarious when you point out the joy in life.
You are one classy Sheila!
I stopped using Usenet when a troll started spitting vile (replying) at everything I wrote. Nothing was sacred. I’d deleted the bugger but saw its messages when someone else replied to it.
Its taken me over a year to come back to the internet and even longer to finally begin to blog … with the resolution to block any and all trolls ’cause life is too short to put up with fwits.
But its bloggers like you and Kelley over at Magnetoboldtoo that have me hooked on the internet again. You guys have class - and a vast knowledge of witty comebacks, sarcasm and swear words. You rock!
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I think you should let the troll stay…and let us regulars deal with him. Trust me, we’ve got your back.
Oh, and I voted. Again. And I’m not Canadian. Does that still count?
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I’m sorry Bug’s birthday had to be the day a troll showed up :S
I voted for you last night…..just waiting for the 24 hour clock to reset so I can vote again today!
PS - Go Flames
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Vote for you EVERY SINGLE DAY until the 12th? Now you’re pimping!
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I think Trolls are just sad b/c who spends their time being that negative? Sad people. Now I’m going to vote for you again.
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Never read this blog before. Came here from the Weblogs site to check you out. Now I’ve voted for you.
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I love the delete button.
Sometimes I’ve run into people and wished that it worked in real life, too. Wouldn’t that be cool?
And no, I didn’t know I could vote every day, so I went back and voted again.
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I’m going to vote for you, but only because you promised to get drunk and sing karaoke. Wink.
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Woohoo Tanis, you are closing in with 26.2% of the vote.
As to the trollish SG, buh-bye. We’ve wasted way too much time on you already.
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Voted yesterday after I saw a link somewhere else, and had to check the canadian nomimnees. Will do today’s later.
As for the f’wit, you take them on and they just enjoy it, like wrestling a pig. Delete and IP block.
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I’m new at blogging, myself. I’ve certainly encountered blog posts that offended me–but I’ve never heard (till now) of a blogger being so cruel as that! I’m so sorry!
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Trolls are fun to play with, in the same way that as a kid you would pull out their hair and generaly torment them…
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I just never understand some people…how miserable they must be to feel the need to Troll their way through life.
We had a troll a few months ago who didn’t like my political views around election day, and went on a rant about how I was too rich & how my son needed speech therapy(he’s 5).
And I especially love when it’s an anonymous troll.
Just hang in there & get a good laugh. ‘Cause anyone with that much hate in their heart is bound for misery on Earth and lots of hot fun in the afterlife!!
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You know you’ve arrived when you have a HATER. Will trolls ever learn that the internet isn’t like your local Burger King? SG, no you can’t “Have it your way.” I believe this blog & it’s contents belong solely to Tanis for her to do with as she sees fit, mind you. We’re only fortunate enough that she chose to share. If you don’t like it, move the f*ck on. None of your silly ass comments needed, thank you very much.
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That’s the Redneck I know and love.
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I gave a troll the business end of my foot once. I think they get off on the response.
From now on I just delete and say nothing. No limelight for them.
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Add “classy” to your long list of attributes, Tanis! Very well put. Happy Birthday a few days late to your beloved ShaleBug. Big hugs, lady.
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The way I see it, is that if you have a troll then you’ve really made it as a blogger. And we all know YOU’VE made it. Hell you’re getting roasted and nominated out the ass. Screw those trolls.
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*GRUNT*
Hey, there’s another rainbow! Want it?
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i *think* it was Sweetney (at blogher) who taught me the power of the delete button. Use it when you need to, Tanis. and don’t use it when you want to toss them into the shark-infested waters. smooch.
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Sorry to be late to the “party”. I just went back and read the trolls comments. The most appropriate word was ‘tacky’. Or maybe tasteless… Or maybe inappropriate. Well you get the hint .
Trolls suck.
Don’t give him/her anymore thought.
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I’m glad you’ve chosen to ignore the trolls from now on. I got one troll comment awhile back, and my husband decided to “guest” blog and tear the troll a new one. Well, I just kept thinking, “He/She probably won’t even read this, so what’s the point?”
We have a neighborhood troll. Once everyone got together and decided to ignore her, she totally mellowed out. In fact, I haven’t heard of a dirty deed in a few years. They are attention mongers, and if they don’t get attention they go away.
And, I’m so pissed that someone would add further hurt regarding your little boy that I could just spit. So, that’s all I’m gonna say on that.
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You? Are awesome. “I have always felt that part of the charm of blogging is the interaction and feeling of community which commenting fosters” Amen. And anyone who doesn’t want to be part of that community is surely not fit for a comment.
Also, running to vote for you by another “gettin her ass whooped” person in the parent category. YEY. I’m LAST! hhhaha
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Glad I know what a troll is now! That’s just so wrong to comment on a child escpecially one that has passed away. There are some horrible people out there!! Yes, please delete… don’t give them any kind of promotion what so ever… that’s all they’re after.
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I voted again. My God, your competition sucks, though. Those other blogs are so.damned.boring.
I don’t get it.
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Tanis, I can’t figure out how to email you. I’m rather techno illit. But feel free to send me a note and we’ll find out if our paths cross. And F the trolls. Unfortunately some people need editing! You rock no matter what the troll says. He’s just jealous.
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Just throw them some cookies, build them a bridge, then shove their nasty asses back under it. They’re truly not worth your time. Feel free to delete comments. I do it from time to time and I don’t feel one bit guilty about it. Fug ‘em, I say. If they want to be nasty little bastards then they deserve to be treated that way.
I’m sorry I didn’t post on that day and have your back. I would have. You know it.
Happy Birthday to your Bug. He’s smiling as he watches mama rip her teeth into a troll.
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Oooooh they must be inspired by you, otherwise why waste valuable internet space to even bother blogging about you
GO YOU!
Get under their pasty white comptuer skin and irritate the crap out of the little f****rs!
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Like a piece of used gum on the bottom of your favorite shoe, this stupid troll is sucking way too much positive energy out of the lives of way too many awesome people. I’m ashamed that it was this incident that drove me to comment, but I just couldn’t help it! So annoyed, and then annoyed that I let that bottom feeder annoy me! It’s what she wants.. jealous of the support you have and that you have rightfully earned.
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Give me a name sweetness, just a name.
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I unfortunatly got my first troll at YouTube. I had posted a video of my son that has autism opening Chirstmas presents (This was a big deal for us. 3 years ago he would not have even shown and interest in a wrapped gift).
I could not fathom that some one could have such hate for a child that they would post the nasty things that they said.
Where do people get off doing crap like that?
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Trolls aren’t worth the time it would take to piss on them.
You rock, thanks for sharing yourself with the rest of us.
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This has been my policy for a long time now. I’m glad you’re doing it because frankly? Comments like that don’t deserve to see the light of day.
Voting again for you.
P.S. I think you should take Danny’s Ass Rainbow he left in the comments and sell it on ebay.
(Proceeds donated to charity, of course. Maybe you should be the one to pick it though. I am not sure what he would come up with as an option. Heh.)
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That’s messed up. I’m fairly new to the blog world and I’ve been pretty lucky with the comments but it’s tough letting it all hang out there. Don’t let a few jerk-offs spoil your party. You’re awesome. I’ll be on the lookout for Trolls for now on… Peace
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I am new to your blog and I went right over and read the roast posts and now I can’t wait to read the older posts to find out what they are talking about! Phew, I almost ran out of breath on that sentence.
I voted for you but right now some sneak thief is ahead of you.
You are the winner if you win the award or not.
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It’s your house, chica. You make the rules.
PS. I vote for you every single day.
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I laugh at trolls.
I once had one who accused me of living in a shitty neighborhodd and only pretending to live in Don Mills to make myself look good…
Apparently living in the “uncoolest” neighborhood on Toronto is something to which one aspires.
Who knew?
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Happy to play shark to any chum(p) you feel like throwing to us.
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Trolls, are just bored people who like to start shit.
Someone “trolling” on a post about Bug, is NOT a troll, it is ignorance.
Just remember, you can’t blame those who were never taught better, their parents BLEW and they are just upset at how much you still deeply care for Bug even though he is not still physically here with you.
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i deleted a few negative comments from my blog. screw them. if they can’t say anything nice…or nothing at all…then move on to the next blog. there happen to be a kagillion out there!
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I may be extremely naive, but I cannot imagine anyone being so cruel to you, or your son.
On the other hand, bury them. Destroy them. They deserve to rot in hell.
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i luff you. that is all.
oh and we need to find/bring karaoke to nashville. just sayin’.
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