Yesterday’s post seemed to bring a little confusion to my gentle American friends.
Cold temperatures generally leave me a wee confused so I’m not totally surprised.
But it seems a great deal of you don’t know what we Canadians put on our heads to keep our brains from freezing into ice blocks.
That would be a TOQUE people.
This is a toque:
Note the pompom on the top. Any Canuck worth their salt knows the only good toque is the toque with a fuzzy ball of yarn on the top. It’s like walking around all winter season with a Christmas ornament on our skulls.
This is a Canadian keener in a toque:
Fashion means nothing when one has to brave our arctic like winter temperatures.
Warmth is the preferred currency even if it means looking like a deranged lunatic who stole a cheerleader’s pompom to attach it to their head.
It’s not a beanie or a hat, it’s a freaking TOQUE.
Any questions?
*This public service announcement brought to you by your friendly neighbourhood Canuck hoser. Now excuse me, I need to go make some butter tarts, eat some poutine and wash it all down with some screech.*
*Bob and Doug would be so proud. Sniff.*
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 14:34
you’re hot in your toque.
Becca Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
@nic @mybottlesup,
agreed! definitely one hot mamma!!
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 14:37
love it!
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 14:38
why didn’t it post my last comment?
anyhoo – i’ll do it again
“love it”
bet i’ve posted twice now. gah!
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 14:40
Technically, a toque doesn’t have those comfortingly warm earflappy thingies.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 14:42
In the southern US, that’s called a “toboggan” (no, not the sled…the HAT). In the northeastern US, it’s called a “knit cap”. Neither name requires the pompom…but it’s cute!
DeAnna Reply:
December 18th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
@JL, In the “real” South (lol) we call it a ‘boggin. I have a black one with ear flaps and dangly ball pom pom things trimmed in leopard print!
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 14:49
I’m pretty certain only Newfies drink screech. Which means of course, almost the entire population of Fort McMurray (or is it MacMurray? hmmm….30+ years of living in this province and I only just realized I am not sure exactly what that overpriced town is called!) and half of my drunken neighbours in their garages are drinking it out here.
kyooty Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
@Emma,
got a letter from there this past week it’s McMurray
Screech has also found it’s way off the Fairy and onto the island.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 14:54
One of my favorite online scrabble words. Triple word score, of course
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 14:54
Well I never… never knew what they were called, and never had much cause to wear one!! I can see I am going to have to study up before I can visit your fine country, Tanis…
BB
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 14:59
bob and doug sure would be proud. i bet don cherry would even be proud. ricker mercer? definitely proud.
thanks for splainin to all the world what we endure and embrace here in the fairest land the sun occasionally forgets. at least we have healthcare!
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 15:01
and soda? whats that? you mean the clear bubbly stuff you mix with vodka and lime, right? we call it pop. i love that word! POP! so much fun to say
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 15:11
It’s hard to imagine that it’s been long enough since Bob and Doug were on TV all the time for Americans to forget what a toque is and how to pronounce it, but that appears to be the case. Very sad. Glad you’re here to reeducate us south-of-49 types. And in other news, I’ve been to Antarctica and it was NOT THAT COLD. Sheesh.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 15:12
Don’t forget to wipe your mouth with a serviette… do some coloUring with pencil crayons… and be tidy, put your work in a duotang before you sit down on the chesterfield.
Whew… now I need a double-double… better yet, how about a two-four! Yet, sadly, all I have is a Nanaimo bar and some Kraft dinner.
Redneck Mommy Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
@CC, CC, I think I fell in love with you.
Momartfully Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
@Redneck Mommy, Heh, although you forgot to mention the coloUr of your doUGHnuts (no, that’s not dirty) LOL
And God yes, it was freeze your nosehairs cold.
kyooty Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
@CC, uh homework goes in a Scribbler
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 15:13
How the hell do you pronounce it though? (sorry, I’m from the south, I can’t pronounce anything right)
daysgoby Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
@bloggin’ bama girl, TOKE. (Yes, like inhaling.)
daysgoby Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
@daysgoby,
Unless it’s TOO-KE. I’m the American in-law, and hearing my husband’s family fight about this is priceless….
sabrina Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
@daysgoby,
sabrina Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
@sabrina, i fail. it’s the second. TOO-ke.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 15:25
Bob & Doug 12 Days of Christmas – Animax Entertainment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2oPio60mK4 On the fifth day my true love gave to me .. fiiive golden toques …
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 15:33
my MIL is a Newfie, but she has been a southern belle Newfie for many years.
they love to make fun of themselves and have told me lots of Newfie jokes…good people.
introduced me to Screech…good people.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 15:49
My grandma calls any hat like that a winkie hat. And she didn’t mean anything by it but of course as kids we found and still find it funny.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 15:52
I just made butter tarts on Monday! YUM.
I hope he doesn’t lose his citizenship. Hehe
Also – my 6yr old boy has decided the puff on the top of his toque is no longer cool.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 16:20
We live in the middle of America (Illinois) and my kids wear those kinds of hats. We just didn’tknow they were toques. It’s kind of a challenge among all the kids to find the one with the wildest colors, earflaps, etc.
I feel so cultured knowing they dress in an international fashion.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 16:23
How adorable! Thank you for sharing!
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 16:35
mmmmmmm butter tarts and screech…. and poutine… hey- wait… i think I have cheese curds in my fridge… bahaahahahahaha… now I must find fries…
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 17:26
AFREAKINGMEN!
But, what the hell is screech? The only Screech I’m familiar with is the doofus from Saved by the Bell…
sabrina Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
@Chibi Jeebs, Screech is Newfie rum, originally from Jamaica. To take a shot of screech and kiss a puffin or a cod is how you become an honourary Newfie.
Annette Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
@Chibi Jeebs, homemade liquor…the kind that burns going down real bad but and gets she schnockered after one drink;)
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 17:58
I had a green toque as a youngster, only we took the balls off the top and beat up anyone that left theirs on. What can I say, suburban New York was hard livin’. For the confusion above it’s pronounced like the number 2. A 2-ke.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 18:01
Proper pronunciation for those Ukrainian block heaters is like the number 2 with a K stuck on the end ie: TWOK. Is that clear as mud?
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 18:50
The Canadian (Albertan)friend from whom I first learned the word pronounced it “Took.”
And Tanis, you look adorable in yours.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 18:51
Does the fact I own the soundtrack to Bob and Doug McKenzie’s ‘Great White North’ on freakin’ vinyl do anything toward making me an honorary Canadian? I mean, combine that fact with the hard evidence that parts of my body (emphasis on hard, btw) are impacted greatly by Iowa’s cold ass temps and I’d think that would have to qualify me to be at least a quarter Canadian, eh?
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 19:01
I am not sure how to say Toques. Is it like what you do when you smoke marijuana? Hmmm…We are not big puffy ball people here in Atlanta. And when it drops below 40, that is freezing to us. We use those 10 days a year to don the scarves buried in the back of the closet that we had to have.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 20:09
Good gravy, it’s a damn hat. Or a beanie, or a cap. Here in Northern CA, where Tahoe is just a 3 hr car drive away, we wear those things all the time when we are out in the winter weather. Don’t matter how damn cold it is, we wear them regardless.
I’m picturing, say, a tall knitted thingamajig, say twice the size of a human head, with a rounded lump on top, from the description of things, uh, er, toque. I like that it’s pronounced “toke” like, let’s have another drag on that bong baby. Heh.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 20:32
Sadly, our own CBC website even mispelled the word “toque” in their article on Lululemon and the Olympics today. Geez, Canadians should know better!
Cheers,
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 20:48
I grew up in California and then moved to Arizona. I don’t like being cold and pretty much bitch and whine any time it is below 60 degrees. So of course now my family is moving to Michigan, and although I thought I had it all figured out, my husband didn’t seem to agree with my plan. I figured I could just homeschool the kids, have the groceries delivered, and not have to leave the house for anything for 3 months. Except I have no patience for trying to teach my kids to tie their shoes, let alone anything academic, so I can kind of see why he thinks this plan might not work. I’ve seriously been wondering how people function in that kind of cold, and based on how many Michigan license plates I see here in Arizona all winter long, I seriously suspect that half the state doesn’t deal with the winter weather at all. Knowing that you live somewhere even colder than Michigan and actually stay there instead of running away to somewhere warm gives me hope that I may also be able to survive and not turn into a human popsicle with the first freeze. I have two questions regarding the wearing of a toque. First, do they make any that don’t make your forehead all itchy or do you eventually just get used to it? And second, do people even bother styling their hair in the winter or is “hat head” or do you call it “toque head” just accepted?
Kimi B Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
@Lorna, we call those Michiganders that take off to Arizona & Florida Snowbirds. Oh, that and our state is bankrupt. get work where ya can!
Lorna Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 8:33 am
@Kimi B, Yeah, we call them snowbirds here too. Our local economy is based on their arrival every winter, but they really screw up traffic and generally annoy all the year round residents.
Beth Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 11:11 am
@Lorna, LOL-When I retire I guess I won’t snowbird to Arizona. BTW-winter in Michigan?? Pretty much mid October to mid April. And this year we didn’t get a summer. Sorry about that.
sherpamama Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
@Lorna, the beauty of the toque is that it frees you up from having to wash your hair in the winter, because it’s too cold to let it dry. or is that just me?
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 21:09
Here in Michigan, we do occasionally see some cool weather, but I`ve never had to wear my toque INDOORS!
Lorna Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
@Steve, What do you mean occasionally? The highs there have been in the 30’s for weeks. That’s cold in my book. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that the warmest it gets there all day is still colder than our nightly lows. Do they call them toques in Michigan? I need to know these things.
Steve Reply:
December 18th, 2009 at 5:29 am
As we live just up the road from The Great White Norths southern-most point, our temps. are damn near tropical, compared to what those hardy souls enjoy! Not too many toques around here, mostly just hats, and winter hats. Lots of folks have already taken on that “Michelin Man” look. Despite all that you’ve heard about MichIgan, for the most part, it’s a pretty nice place. Enjoy your stay!@Lorna,
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 21:21
we yoopers have no trouble understandin’ canucks – it’s the more southern folk that get confused.
Wednesday, 16 December, 2009 at 21:53
I have a question.. can I come and visit you? I live in florida and they said that there is a cold front coming but it is still in the high 70’s (F)
Thursday, 17 December, 2009 at 1:30
I made sure to bring all my toques with me to NZ…and got funny looks. They can all kiss my ass. I’m wearing my toque with pride when winter rolls around again. And yes…it has a pom on top!
(Also? Love me some Bob and Doug!)
Thursday, 17 December, 2009 at 7:11
Lol, too funny. We Tennesseeans call that a toboggan, and my hubby (from California) calls it a beanie…and they wear them when they “go to the snow”.
And yes, you are too hotttt in that toque!
Thursday, 17 December, 2009 at 7:14
Adorable! I didn’t know what a Toque was but now that I do, I want one. However, it’s 75 degrees where I live. Guess I’ll use it when I visit places with actual seasons.
Thursday, 17 December, 2009 at 7:30
I love Bob and Doug! I haven’t heard their Christmas song in years.
My toque doesn’t have ear flaps.
I live in Michigan and didn’t take my toque last time I went to Disney World. Who would have anticipated snow in the Magic Kingdom? The ladies in the gift shops didn’t know what a toque was. We ended up joker hats made out of fleece. Not nearly as warm.
Thursday, 17 December, 2009 at 9:13
I love Screech!! Can you send me some??
Thursday, 17 December, 2009 at 9:18
So if I’m lookin to knit one of them there hats, do I need to find a pattern that says “toque” on it or will this “ugly but functional winter hat” pattern do? Does it become a toque when I add the pompom?
Thursday, 17 December, 2009 at 11:44
Thanks for clearing that up…off to figure out how to make a toque. Just because.
kyooty Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
@CJ, I bought mine in Maine and it’s EXACTLY like the one pictured and then lined with fleece on the ear flaps. SOOOO cozy, but I couldn’t find that one today.
Thursday, 17 December, 2009 at 12:17
Sooooo got that car plugged in yet? I just Tres F#)$ing Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrred myself all the way to the grocerystore here in -27C with the windchill. I totally went grabbed the first Toque I could find, why yes it had some hockey logo on it? and we don’t DO hockey here nor did it match my butt covering Jacket.
Thursday, 17 December, 2009 at 13:03
you are killing me! Butter tarts! I would run around outside naked for some butter tarts! And I have Strange Brew on Beta-max cuz i’m that cool!
Friday, 18 December, 2009 at 4:59
“Took” is the pronunciation I have heard most from my Canadain friends… most of them are from Ontario and PEI. I just call it a hat.
Friday, 18 December, 2009 at 10:37
What’s poutine?
Hannah Reply:
December 18th, 2009 at 10:44 am
@Mitzi,
Poutine (pronounced “poo-tin” in French, or “poo-teen” in English) is french fries covered in cheese curds and gravy. It originated in Quebec but quickly spread across the country because it is freakin’ delicious and awesome.
Possibly also because all that saturated fat and dairy warms you up.
Now I want some poutine.
Friday, 18 December, 2009 at 13:51
When it gets cold, you’ve got to keep your head warm.
Nice cap.
Friday, 18 December, 2009 at 22:54
And how is that pronounced? “Toke?” If so…I can understand why. LOL
It’s actually…quite…lovely. You should probably wear it even in the warmer months, for the sheer fashion statement alone!
Saturday, 19 December, 2009 at 9:10
We should all get together and have a craziest toque ever contest. Now I want some poutine, but I make mine with Swiss Chalet sauce not gravy so much better (not necessarily healthier though)
Saturday, 19 December, 2009 at 16:14
A toque has a ball o’ yarn on top. When I was a kiddie the toques were long and came to a point so you could wrap it like a scarf.
Tuesday, 29 December, 2009 at 14:50
cute toque.